Airport Romance

There are certain moments in life that are deemed to be more romantic than others.  These scenes are constantly played over and over on the movies and television shows, written about in books, and often fantasized about by people desperate to find that moment so built up in our heads.  One of these moments is without a doubt picking your girl up at the airport.  Just think about it.  Where does Ross have to chase down Rachel in the final episode of Friends so that he can win her back once and for all?  The airport.  How many shows of Seinfeld revolve around scenes in the airport?  Too many to count.  In light of this, I couldn't think of anything that would be more interesting than to experience the hype for myself.  It was this thought process that made me jump at the opportunity to pick my serb up at the airport following her lengthy trip, first from Belgrade to Munich, then finally on to the great United States of America.  I couldn't help but let myself get caught up in the supposed romance of the situation.  I imagined her walking down the ramp towards me as I casually strolled to greet her, calm and collected, before I took her into my arms and gave her a passionate and longing kiss.  I thought to myself that the world would just slip away around us, the commotion of the airport fading to nothing as if the only thing that mattered was the girl in front of me and the moment we were happily stuck in.  

All of this I'm sure sounds unbelievably corny, especially coming from someone who doesn't get caught up in such things, but I had been brainwashed by the world around me.  I had been taught to expect something, and so I waited in anticipation of the moment.  

I'm not sure if some things are a bust because they are hyped too much, or simply because you expect something different from what actually happens, but it is safe to say that picking the serb up in airport was far less romantic than I had expected.  It started well enough.  I saw her coming a ways off and was instantly drawn in as if I was seeing her for the first time.  In a few fleeting seconds I felt that twinge of nervous energy that you get when going out with a girl for the first time, and I was suddenly acutely aware of all my movements.  I was surprised in this sudden change as I was normally so relaxed.  As our eyes met and we drew close I felt the people around us pressing in as if we were suddenly in everyone's way.  In response to this feeling, I gave her a quick kiss, grabbed one of her bags and led her to a more isolated section to talk.  

Looking back, it is possible that I ruined the moment.  Had I slowed down, the romance of the occasion could have been saved.  However, I don't think that is the case.  It is easy to capture the perfect kiss on tv when the scene can be shot over and over, or in a book when the author can frame an image anyway they like.  It is much harder to capture this in the moment.  In fact, it wasn't until the next day when I think we both finally settled down enough in order to enjoy the moment that was meant for the airport.  Together, relaxed, and discussing some intellectual b.s. I finally felt it, and at the end of the day that is all either of us wanted.

Searching for More

With each passing day I am becoming more and more disenchanted with women.  Not so much with any female in my life, but rather women on a whole.  This of course doesn't mean that I'm going to stop pursuing, charming, and wining and dining them, but I think I'll do it more cautiously from now on.  There is so much self-obsession and overconfidence that to be frank I find it a bit sickening.  This rather stunning revelation occurred oddly enough when I recently went to the beach.  Not far from me were a pair of bikini clad girls around my age a tad too involved with themselves.  I was close enough to make out the general flow of their conversation which revolved around the belly button rings that they were both proudly sporting.  Now to be clear most males are decidedly unconcerned with the state of anyone's belly button ring.  Apart from being a bit too flashy and perhaps slightly slutty, they offer absolutely no redeeming value.  However, these teenagers were quite concerned with their respective piercings.  They were strangely fiddling with them and discussing in great detail the ring's effect on the skin around the belly button region.  They were completely engrossed in their conversation that it was as if life around them had stopped entirely.  To them life had whittled itself down to the two of them and their belly button rings.

Now please, don't take this post the wrong way.  Men are equally guilty of such vapidity.  In my mind the biggest crime is that men don't push for more.  In general, males are so infatuated with sexiness and beauty that things that can truly define a woman like intelligence, charm, and wit are completely overlooked.  Instead women merely focus on giving men what we seem to want: sex.  Of course, at times there is nothing better than hot, heavy, and unabashed sex.  However, most people fail to realize that there can be so much more.  Men fail to force the best out of the women they date.  Instead of experiencing excitement and romance in all facets of life, we are too often left to settle into a dreary and often unending rhythm.  All I'm saying is push your girl to be everything she is capable of, and in doing so raise your own expectations.  Don't settle when there is so much unlocked potential.

Why Risk It?

Apart from marriage, or some intensely committed long-term relationship that generally tends to represent marriage at its core, there looms one question about relationships that last: why bother?  Why put yourself through such an emotional roller-coaster only to see (in just about every case) the relationship that you have worked so hard to preserve crumble and burn into a pile of pain and suffering?  Is it truly worth putting your heart on the line when it is so likely that you will be left with nothing but the broken pieces?  I've heard the reasons behind long-term relationships range from the constant opportunity for sex to the idea that over time being with someone is simply easier than not being with them.  While I'm sure that these sort of relationships are prevalent, I like to think that they can be so much more.  Call me naive, but I believe that humans are capable of relationships, outside the confines of marriage, that amount to more than a shallow desire for sex or a simple insecurity attempting to avoid loneliness.

At the center of the idea is the obvious notion the we need one another.  It is generally true that humans are happiest when interacting.  There is a reason why social networking sites are so popular; they hone one's ability to communicate.  Of course it is true that interaction can come from a variety of places.  From simple day to day conversation, to constant discussions with friends, there are many opportunities to be with other people.  Despite this, in today's culture more and more people are talking, while fewer and fewer are taking the time to listen.  This I believe is what any meaningful relationship can provide.  The ability to confide in someone that understands you on a profoundly deep level.  You see, in a relationship both of you offer support for the other.  Right or wrong, insignificant, or incredibly meaningful, one has an outlet to express their thoughts and opinions.

It is this notion that makes a relationship possibly worth all the time and trouble.  I'm not saying that this always works, but there is always that potential; a potential that will never be realized if one is too focused on the mindless sex or simple comfort of being with someone.

Looking Back on the Past Year

It has been a year since this blog stopped being merely an idea and came to fruition, and 43 posts and almost 4,000 hits later it is safe to say its been one interesting ride.  I can't exactly pinpoint the precise reason for detailing our personal experiences on one of the most frustrating and yet delightfully irresistible topics known to mankind, yet here we are continuing to write, and perhaps more importantly, continuing to document.  I guess in reality our initial purpose for writing this blog was to pass some vitally important nuggets of information to males all over the world in the hope that they would become more successful in their respective love lives.  This last sentence undoubtedly sounds arrogant and perhaps slightly conceited, but I think that it is safe to assume that preceding this year neither Alex nor myself had any real idea of what it took to date a woman.  I say woman because we no longer want a date to be insecure or immature, clingy, or desperate, we want stability and common sense.  We want someone that will just live, and let us do the same.  The search has evolved.  A was once a shallow obsession with looks and "hotness" has turned into an inkling of the "total package."

In a weird way, the blog has changed me.  While it was always entertaining to document the single hook-ups and crazy stories, it was in the end fairly unrewarding.  No matter how fun the moment seemed, there was always something missing in the end.  I suppose at this moment the idea of looking for the "total package" is something that has taken a hold of me.  I still find myself formulating this idea, and looking for ways to go about finding exactly what it is we are looking for.  At the end of the day the blog was started for you, the readers, and thats the way it is going to stay.  Through my experiences I hope to pass on something to everyone else.  Here's to hoping that one day, we figure it all out!

The "Social Constructs" of Society

Like it or not, society holds women to a higher standard when it comes to dating, partying, hanging out with friends, or just about anything that falls within the basic "social constructs" that we dictate.  Call it sexist, unfair, or just flat out wrong, more is expected out of a woman than a man in a social setting.  The thing is though, both sexes are guilty of these heightened expectations.  Who are the first people to point out the babe wearing the too short dress, or low cut shirt?  Women.  Who generally gossips about the seemingly shameless girl who is sleeping around?  Once again, the answer is almost always women.  Not to say that men are blameless.  We expect girls to be subtly seductive and yet not slutty.  We demand that a woman give us our space to be "men" and yet we assume that whenever we are in need she will respond with resourcefulness and ingenuity.  

I never said it was fair.  Quite simply, I can't imagine the pressure.  Despite this, I have to admit, I expect a woman to at least try to live up to these expectations.  I realize none of us are perfect.  I make mistakes, and so will any girl that I date.  However, society has taught me to look for certain attributes in anyone I consider dating.  When we go out, I assume that she will drink, but not so much that she losses control.  When we enter a room, I expect everyone's head to turn in awe of the beauty I've managed to make mine, but I don't want anyone to mutter the word "slut" upon our entrance.  When the night is through, I want her to show me how badly she wants me, but not so much that I don't take time to cherish every moment for fear that it could be the last.  

To be honest, I am unsure if this is too much to ask.  However, for better or worse, I believe it can be accomplished.  Furthermore, I suspect that society has dictated that women be held to a higher standard.  In return, I try to give something back.  I do my best to be intellectual, charming, and charismatic.  It may not be a fair, but I don't make the rules.  I just live by them.

The Reality of Love

This summer I have dipped into the seedy underbelly of community college.  Having lost credits upon transferring schools, sucking it up and taking a summer class became a necessity.  I choose public speaking not only because it was guaranteed to transfer, but also because I figured it would be exceptionally easy.  Thus far, my prediction has been accurate and I have breezed through the first few weeks without so much as cracking a book.  

Three days a week I go to class and am given fairly obvious advice on rhythm, poise, and diction that most of my fellow classmates can't quite seem to grasp.  For most, the seemingly repetitive nature of the class would be rather dull, but every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday I awake with a certain curious excitement.  I have been through countless hours of high school, attended classes at two reputable colleges, and studied with friends from all over the world, and yet there is nothing quite like community college.  The class is full of college dropouts who fancy themselves as "hipsters" questioning the social construct of education while at the same time puttering through the very system that they carry such disdain for, and middle aged women going through a mid-life crisis, hoping that education will be the key in redefining themselves.  We often do b.s. group work and I mutter comments about the class being a complete joke while others look at me startled, because to them giving a five minute lecture or writing an analysis on some famous speech is pretty damn arduous.  

What interests me though is not what the professor forces down our throats during lecture, but rather what I learn from those around me.  I always seem to end up in the same group working with the mother of two who met her husband in the 7th grade, the divorced Russian who has teenagers and seems fascinated by my experiences with the opposite sex, and the woman in her 50s with a seemingly endless supply of tales about men.  I find it unusual how comfortable they all seem with me.  Surprisingly however, their stories of love, men, and sex don't revolve around romantic dinners and passionate encounters, but rather about disappointment and heartbreak.  Through all the failure a certain animosity has grown.  Gone from their minds is the possibility that a man can not only be your lover, but your best friend as well.  Instead are the stories of men standing them up on dates, and as they like to say "constantly thinking with their dicks."  To them, men are selfish, and incapable of any real emotion.  Its as if their heart has been broken one too many times, and the romantic notion of love that they must have once had is gone and irreplaceable.  

I find it sad that they think of men this way.  They are so convinced that they are even comfortable sharing their beliefs with me.  Now it is obvious that I haven't always been the best dater.  I've cheated on high school girlfriends, and hooked up with girls in college and then never called, but I like to think that a piece of all of us is capable of raw and boundless love.  When expressing this opinion, my classmates label me a "romantic" and "too young and innocent" to really know what love is all about.  If this is true, I hope for my sake I never discover the truth.  I'd much rather live in illusion, than deal with the reality that they face.

Finding the "Perfect" Moment

When it comes to dating, we all fear being vulnerable.  The realization that you are not only physically, but also emotionally involved in a relationship is an idea that can be difficult to handle.  This realization marks the loss of any real control; its like riding to the top of a roller coaster, enjoying the slow and steady assent, and all of a sudden slipping over the peak, careening downwards with no way of slowing down.  The feeling is exhilarating, and yet in the pit of your stomach lies an understanding that you are no longer responsible for merely yourself, but someone else as well.

It is because of this, that we avoid the inevitable.  We ignore our feelings, and push the butterflies felt for that girl we see walking around campus to the back-burner.  Instead, we wait in the wings.  Both men and women are obsessed with some outdated and romantic notion of the "perfect" moment.  With this in mind we hold off on admitting our true feelings, instead waiting for the party where everyone is a bit tipsy and the mood has been lightened, hoping that the right girl will just miraculously fall into our arms.  We hope and pray that the "perfect" girl in the "perfect" moment will appear in front of us waiting for that "perfect" kiss, the kind of fantasy that generally only comes true in those corny chick flicks where the guy always gets the girl.  Unfortunately, more often that not, the guy doesn't get the girl, and things don't work out in the cute and unpredictable way we all hope it will.

Being aware of how dating usually works, I was stunned when one of my friends from school called me the other day to tell me that she had recently told the boy she had been pining after for the last month or so how she felt.  There was no slutty dress attempting to grab his attention, or any thinly veiled flirtatiousness.  She did not try to show off to him in front of other girls, or execute any elaborate plan in order to make him realize that she was the one.  No, all there was, was the the truth.  The simple notion that she liked him.  The funny thing is, he bought it.  He told her he had feelings for her, and they ended the semester both on the same page: both parties knowing that there was the possibility of love in the fall.

Now to fully understand this story, and how unlikely it is, you have to know my friend.  She is the type of girl that obsesses over everything.  From planning out her study schedule during finals week, to deciding which sorority to join, she is never without a plan.  I often find myself helping her with her plans of action, as she is often too nervous to execute it without the input of others.  Despite this, she is smart and charismatic in just about any social situation.  While she worries over many details, she wants a straight answer, and doesn't like b.s.  I suppose it is because of this that she was so direct about admitting her feelings for this boy.  She had told me about him several times and each time she had no idea what to do about it.  However, in the moment she was direct and forthcoming in a way that most would terrified of.  What is odd, is it worked.  Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't wait for the "perfect" moment.  What if it never comes?  Perhaps, the simple words "I like you" will make any moment perfect.

Every Bros Favorite Time of Year

This is every bros favorite time of year.  The reason is exceedingly simple, and undeniably shallow.  You see, as the weather turns warm, and the days grow long, another yearly tradition occurs too: the spring dresses come out.  You all know what I'm talking about, and just about every girl owns at least a couple.  They are the tiny, tight fitting contraptions that reveal almost everything, and yet hide just enough to stay somewhat appropriate.  They are unbelievably sexy, and yet somehow remain innocent.  They allow girls to capture the casualness of just another day, and yet they mark the turning of the seasons, and what it means for everyone's love life.  The spring dress symbolizes promiscuity.  It represents the coming of endless relaxation and yet intense passion.  It teases every bro by revealing a small piece of the prize.  It makes us comes back for more.  It manipulates us into devising pick-up lines and creating romantic dates for the perfect girl in the perfect spring dress hoping for the perfect night.  It controls us, taunts us, drives us crazy.  Yet it brings something else as well: excitement.  It signals the beginning of the chase.  The period when gorgeous babes look for someone to lie under the stars with on warm summer nights, and go on crazy and unorganized adventures with; the type of adventures that happen only when you are young and unattached and feel untouchable.  It is for these reasons that we love the change from winter to spring and eventually summer.  What we are all presented is the fleeting opportunity to live for ourselves, completely unfettered from any real responsibility.  And it all begins with the sighting of the first too tight, slightly slutty, spring dress.

Trouble in Paradise

I just walked past the couple that lives across the hall from me.  Yes, thats right, I said couple.  Earlier this semester the guy that had been living there moved out, and in moved the other dude's girl.  Its been a couple of months now since the switch, and at first the situation seemed to be paradise.  Both are pretty big on getting f***** up, and from taking prescription drugs to help their "focus" to experimenting with other illegal substances, they at least have one obvious thing in common.  However, as the living arrangements went from fresh to expected, and everyone lost the initial shock of seeing the babe enter her new room, paradise began to experience stormy weather.  It all started a couple weeks ago when around midday their shouting carried clearly through their door and into our room.  The fight was ugly: thinly veiled threats were hurled and accusations were sent back and forth.  As the fight continued for several minutes I mused that there was finally trouble in paradise.  As time would show, the fight was not an isolated incident.  Every couple days, arguments can be heard spewing from the room as if something insidious was growing there.  In fact, I have come to view the room as infected, contaminated beyond a cure.

And yet as I walked by the two this evening, they seemed in the highest of spirits.  Both happily said hello to me, and they were walking together with a flirty playfulness.  They were headed most likely to dinner where they will inevitably share romantic lines and appear to to be the peak of happiness.  But alone, they are different.  Their behavior is far from romantic and cute; it borders on ugliness.  Of course I am aware that at times all couples argue.  I would even go as far to contend that once in a while a fight can help a relationship: it can start things out fresh, and allow each individual to realize and work on their flaws.  In this case though I seriously doubt that these fights are beneficial.  If anything they are frightening. An outside observer would conclude that the clashes were between two people not very fond of one another, not a couple in "love" as they claim to be.

I guess what baffles me, is why either of them would ever want to move in together.  Living together is hard enough without having to share the tiny and cramped spaces of a college dorm room.  Now don't get me wrong, having a girl stay over can be a whole hell of a lot of fun.  The dude had a single, she could've stayed over whenever they wanted...for days in a row even.  But that doesn't mean that they had to give up their individuality.  At the college age, who wants to spend every single moment with their girlfriend?  What about chilling with the bros...or even just having some time to yourself?  There must be times when both much desperately want space.  The more I think about it, the more I begin to realize what the room really signifies for me: a trap.  By moving in together, they have trapped themselves, stifling their individuality and preventing their relationship from flourishing.  I'm not saying that you can't be with someone, or have a committed relationship, but please remain yourself.  We have the rest of our lives to make decisions with a spouse, and have to deal with the daily worries of living together.  For now, be yourself...

Premature Adulthood

Earlier this week a girl in my calculus class returned from her honeymoon.  She returned, contrary to my misconceptions about marriage, the same girl that she left as.  I have long felt that saying the words "I do" has an immediate and noticeable impact on someone, but as she sat in class today, she was still the same nameless girl that always sat two rows over and four seats up from me.  She was, except for the gaudy ring perched on her finger, unchanged.  The only senior in my class, (calc isn't something one generally takes in their last semester of college) she inevitably sits in her seat acutely aware of her status as class "elder."

We did some group work today, something done as a way to break up the long monotony of taking derivatives and sketching graphs, and for the first time all semester she landed in my group at the back of the room.  Too distracted to actually focus on work, I instead tried to catch glimpses of her ring, which she seemed to hide from us, pressing her hand against her shirt or hiding it underneath the desk.  I had never had a classmate who was married before, and I was suddenly aware that marriage had made her completely and utterly different from me or any other kid in the room.

 I finally got up the nerve to ask where she went on her honeymoon, and she responded that they had gone to Disneyland.  She proceeded to tell me that they went to all four parks, and began to list the different stops during their week of ignorant bliss.  I couldn't help but thinking to myself that Disneyland was far from the romantic getaway that I would want to spend the first precious days with my new bride.  Disneyland was a for the married couple with a family of three, looking for endless fun and warm weather all at a cheap price.  It was a place where families went for a brief respite from the constant struggles of life.  It was where I imagined I might be ten years after my marriage, not on the first night.  It was then as I looked at her giving me all the details that I realized she was still just a kid.  She was taking calculus and still worrying about final exams and which party she wanted to go to on friday night.  She was still in college probably exhausted from spending countless hours in the library, and yet exhilarated by the simple pleasures of learning, and dreaming of a future.  Its college...every one of is just a kid...

Except her future was decided.  At graduation there would be no opportunity to bask in the glow of the accomplishment, and start her first job with the carefree attitude that she could do whatever she wanted.  No, she had responsibility.  She had a husband, and had to be a wife.

I suppose in a few years I will come to look at these responsibilities as a blessing.  At some point I will be able to relish the opportunity that she now faces...but not yet.  Even as I write this, I doubt she is there either.  Life is crazy, and its made far more complicated by love.  Maybe her husband is everything she has ever wanted, but everything can wait.  We can't control when we fall in love...but that doesn't mean we should be in any rush to grow up.

Letting it Happen

I was recently talking to a friend when we landed upon our favorite topic of conversation: babes.  When I met him in the fall semester I took him under my wing when it came to girls and he returned the favor when it came to my engineering homework.  Having been born in Pakistan, and living in a variety of places throughout the world growing up, he was a little naive when it came to dealing romantically with the opposite sex.  Despite this, the more time we spent together, the more I began to realize just how damn popular he was.  Everyone knew him...and more importantly girls were always talking to him.  Countless times we would be getting some food, or walking to class and babes would shout out to him from the table next to us, or from across the quad.  At first, it confused me that amongst all the drunk hook-ups and slutty behavior on a college campus, that he couldn't easily join the fray especially considering how popular he was becoming.  I figured, hell girls were never as happy to see me as they were him, and I didn't have any problem meeting someone different every weekend.  

This was a dilemma I could never quite figure out, until our most recent conversation.  He told me that he was adopting a new approach: he was going to let someone come to him.  He told me that he had always gone out looking for girls, but he found it to be rather pointless now.  For whatever reason this realization made a whole lot of sense to me.  You see, it always seems a lot harder to find whatever it is you want when you are actually looking for it.  The best things come naturally, and are unexpected, which makes them that much more rewarding.  My friend's greatest mistake during the fall semester was trying as hard as he did.  Yes, of course everyone knew him because he was outgoing and involved on campus.  There was no doubt he was well liked, but his intense friendliness came off less personally than he meant it to be.  People notice when you are trying too hard, and sometimes have difficulty relating to the kid that everyone knows.  I think when applied to girls, letting things happen is vital.  Trying too hard is unattractive.  Caring too much is considered nerdy.  Every babe is looking for the "cool guy."  Now this doesn't mean you can't be a genuine bro, but its important to chill.  When you desperately search for love, it always seems that you wind up disappointed.  Go out, and live without expectations...if you do that, I think you'll appreciate whatever you find.

Polar Opposites

Every once in a while you meet a girl that you instantly despise.  When I say despise I don't necessarily mean that you have some terrible type of hatred for them or anything of that nature, but despise in the sense that you feel that everything you stand for as a human being is contradicted by her.  From the types of people she hangs out with, to the way she dresses, to maybe even her political views, everything she does goes completely against your beliefs.  She is the completely and utterly your opposite...and yet you want her.  Everything she does, every move she makes fills you with contempt, but at the same time mystifies you.  You wonder, how could anyone be so different than you?  She may be gorgeous, she may be cute, hell she may just be straight up plain, but none of that matters, because for some ungodly reason you are attracted to her.  Not in the traditional sense though.  You aren't attracted to her in the "oh she's a cute girl, I want to take her on a date" sense.  No, this attraction is different.  Put quite simply, you want to take her to bed.  In your mind you realize that if you think this girl is completely different from you, she must think the exact same thing of you.  The thought of you must mystify her in the same way it does you.  With this in mind, you know that under most circumstances she wouldn't be caught dead with you.  And this is where the fun begins.  You see, the reason why you want this girl so much, is because you would love nothing more than for her to want you.  For her to realize that you are totally wrong for her, and yet be unable to stop herself from getting with you.  

Now fellas, I don't really know where I'm going with this.  In fact, I can't say I've ever met a girl where I have truly had this feeling.  But I can imagine what it might feel like.  And I'd like to give you a little advice: go for it.  Flirt with her, charm the hell out of her, and make her fall for you...and when she does really enjoy it, because its a one time deal.  Even she will know hooking up with you is a one night stand.  I normally don't condone such promiscuous behavior, but I must say this is the one time I would allow, no in fact promote it.  I doubt there is anything more satisfying that getting with a girl you actually somewhat care for, but I would argue that this is the next best thing.  I guess its somewhat empowering to hook up with a girl that is truly your opposite.  If you can get with her, I would imagine you could be successful with anyone.  The next time you meet that girl...you know the one that you just can't stand but are desperately attracted to, work your magic.  Make her realize, why your side is right one.

Finding the Common Ground

The following is an essay that I plan to submit for a competition in a newspaper.  I may make some final revisions before submitting my final draft, but this is pretty much it.  I know, it is long, but worthwhile I think.  The prompt was to write about dating in college.  Enjoy.

The other night, my roommate brought a girl back to our room that he had been talking to for the past couple weeks.  I was lying on my top bunk, trying to digest what the last several hours of my Saturday evening had entailed, when she came shyly through our door, giggling quietly, as she took a nervous glance up at me.  Quickly, I tried to process what was happening.  Yes, it was true, it had been a long night, but hadn’t my roommate just said he was going to break things off with this girl?  Before I asked her what the hell she was doing, I turned to him, and was met with one of those sheepish looks, the kind that you get from a nine year-old boy who has just been caught stealing a cookie before dinner.  With one glance he told me two things: I know what I’m doing, and I’m aware I probably shouldn’t be doing it.  It was all I needed to know.  I turned, said hello to the girl, and went to sleep.   

This type of story is not uncommon in college life.  In fact, it is one of the two ways that we interact romantically with the opposite gender.  College students engage in either casual sex and countless dance floor make-out sessions, or embark on intense and serious relationships that often drain the passion from life focusing instead on commitment and devotion.  My first weekend at school, I met two drunk sophomore girls who didn’t waste any time in bringing me to their room to show me the place on the wall where they mark how many guys they hook-up with.  The rules were simple: no repeats, and no girls.  They took the competition seriously, and the more I talked to them, the more I began to suspect that they were both hoping to add me to the wall.  Surprisingly, this type of behavior is commonplace.  I heard one girl justify hooking up with someone by saying that “I was just trying to get with three guys in one night” and witnessed another have casual sex with a kid that lived down the hall from me for about a month, until she heard he was getting with someone else, and all of a sudden felt betrayed. 

On the opposite side of the aisle are the serious daters.  You know, the freshman in college who act more like they are approaching their 20-year college reunion, because they have life, or at least love, “all figured out.”  The ones that more often than not met in high school and are enduring long-distance relationships because hell it just doesn’t get much better than your high school sweetheart does it?  They are the types that can be found in the corner of any college party, nervously sipping on a beer, while they stare at their phone anxiously awaiting a response to the text message that they sent to their significant other.  Long-distance or not, the lives of these kids revolve around technology.  From skyping, to constant texting, interaction is almost continuous.  I met a kid at school, who fit this mold perfectly.  From texting while studying for the next exam in Chemistry, to taking breaks in between games of squash to respond to messages, I felt that when we were together, he talked more to his long-distance girlfriend than me.  One day, I asked him what they always talked about.  I figured she must have been one real interesting girl to hold his attention for so long.  Alas, I was disappointed with his response.  He told me in a very matter of fact way that they didn’t talk about much of anything.  I may be paraphrasing, but his response went something like this.  “Oh we just talk about what we are up to like studying or doing our laundry.  We don’t talk about anything serious.”  I was appalled.  Quite simply, I couldn’t imagine anything more tedious.  I told him my opinion, and he responded in a straight face that he felt sorry for me.  “I have life all figured out.  I go to a great school, I’m going to get a great job, and I have found the girl I want to marry.  You don’t know where you are going to be tonight.  You meet a girl one night, and can’t remember it the next morning.  What’s the fun in that?” 

The problem with my generation is that we are caught between two extremes.  The ability to communicate with one another has jaded our view of relationships.  Suddenly, dating someone isn’t about merely enjoying one another’s company, but rather about being in constant communication. During high school, I dated a girl that expected me to text her all day every day.  Each morning I would wake up to a message starting the conversation, and each night I would mercifully end the day, and more importantly the texting.  For a couple of months, I was able to put up with such behavior.  However, eventually, I simply ran out of things to say.  I had been drained to the point of no return.  Every college kid is afraid of becoming that relationship.  We have become so terrified, that talking in general is frowned upon.  The system generally goes like this: guys begin dancing with girls, and all of the girls friends judge the boy’s looks and send some type non-verbal message to the girl he is with, letting her know whether or not they approve.  If he makes the cut, she is free to spend the night with him.  If not, she simply walks away.  Either way, little or no actual communication is needed.

I realized long ago that I needed to find some type of common ground in order to have any type of normal relationship.  The idea of having a girlfriend had always appealed to me, but I knew I needed a girl who would allow me freedom.  I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my individuality simply to attach myself to a girl, so I played the game waiting for someone to come along.  When several months ago, I found myself talking to the very type of girl I was after, I was stunned.  From her obvious intelligence, to the simple fact that she was Eastern European (an international student) she was much different than any girl I had ever tried to talk to. My initial flirtatious and cocky attempts to impress her were met with an almost icy resistance, and she waited until I engaged her in real conversation before opening up.  As we began to spend time with one another I was instantly attracted to her demeanor.  She was confident, almost to the point of arrogance. I knew right away that she would never try to attach herself to me.  She was way too proud to let any guy take advantage of her, and yet she was genuinely interested in what I had to say.  For the first time in my life, I actually talked to a girl.  When I say this, I mean that I had a complete conversation, not one filled with flirtation, or idiotic small chat. 

When after last semester, I decided to transfer, we went out to dinner to discuss whether or not we should stay together.  All of a sudden, I found myself wanting the same long-distance relationship that I had always mocked.  Except, I wanted to do it differently.  Skyping everyday was for saps.  Continuous texting?  C’mon, really, I’m much too busy for that.  On weekends I’m never the guy standing alone in the corner staring nervously at my phone.  Instead, I live my life, and she lives hers.  We often go several days without talking to one another, but when we do we always have something to say.  We both have demanding schedules, and we prefer to give one another the space to accomplish everything we need to.

Despite this, I don’t pretend to have everything figured out.  In fact, neither of us does.  Both of us have days where the distance seems too much to handle, and moments where we wonder whether or not it’s worth it.  Yet, oddly by limiting how much we talk, we have seemed to grow closer to one another.  We never talk merely for the sake of communicating, but rather for the enjoyment that we take from one another’s thoughts.

On weekends, I go out and help my roommate and some of our other friends pick up girls.  I have been described as the “perfect wingman” and in fact I was essential in helping my roommate grab the interest of the girl who came back to our room.  My role is rather important: I deflect awkward situations and look to smooth over the flow of conversation whenever possible.  Each night presents new opportunity, and since I have no expectations, I have evolved into the ultimate team player.  One friend said, “With your looks and charm, you could hook-up with pretty much anyone you wanted.”  I took the compliment in stride, but I guess in reality that’s not what I’ve ever really been after. My generation lives in a world surrounded by the hook-up culture, and now that I’m on the outside looking in, I can admit I’m in no rush to go back. 

The next morning I awake to see the girl tiptoeing out of our room, to take the “walk of shame” back to her dorm.  I look down at my roommate sprawled on his bed, looking as if a train had just hit him.  “Was it worth it?” I ask.  “It never is” he responds, “I have to take a shower.”  

The Popular Girl

You have all seen her before.  You have all had crushes on her, you have all yearned for her, hell maybe even one or two of you has been lucky enough to get with her.  Nonetheless, I think we all know who I'm referring to: the popular girl.  The babe that strutted around high school like she owned the place, or got rushed by like 11 sororities during her freshman year of college.  The girl that has broken the heart of many a bro without so much as a backwards glance, because she only dates "older guys."  The type that does everything with a "posse" because let's face it, from pre-gaming before going out on a saturday night, to merely studying in the library, the popular girl is rarely, if ever, seen without a flock of "bffs."  From the perfect outfit, to the rehearsed smile, the popular girl seems perfect in every way imaginable.  Because of this, everyone wants her.  Unfortunately, most fail to realize this dream.  I'm here to tell you how to make your dream a reality.

By far the most popular, and amateur method of getting with the popular girl, is to force yourself into her posse.  While every popular girl has a large group of female friends, she also has a fairly noticeable contingent of guys who seem to follow her every move.  These are the boys (I call them boys because this is how much I despise this method.  Honestly, it is the most juvenile of tactics.) who try to get close by becoming good friends first.  Now, don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting to know a girl, and even being friends with her, before you take it to the next level.  However, these boys aren't interested in that.  They want in, because they want influence.  They can be seen in every cafeteria on any college campus crowded around the popular girl at dinner trying desperately to gain recognition.  From talking badly about the latest of the popular girl's suitors, to presenting themselves as the "good guy" their methods are smarmy.  They have become so obsessed with the babe, that they would be willing to sell their soul to the devil to be her boyfriend.  Fortunately, more often than not the popular girl is acutely aware of this fact.  She is quick to label these boys (she has undoubtedly dealt with them often) as way too easy, and discredits them immediately.  At this point, they have little shot.  Of course, she will string them along, but only to pretend to present a little competition for someone that might actually have a shot.

Now, with that being said, there is no guaranteed way to get with the popular girl.  You see, the popular girl always has options, and generally they are pretty good.  No matter how smooth, or charming you are, there is always the chance that some other bro might have even more game.  When you play with the best sometimes you lose. (although in my case, not all that often.)  Here is how I generally approach the popular girl: I always, always, always start slowly.  I try to hangout with them in groups.  This does not mean that I am uncomfortable alone, but I have found that groups makes things more casual which is good in the early stages.  Coming on too strong spells disaster.  Despite this, I don't completely discourage flirting.  Flirting is always good, especially when done with everyone around.  The popular girl is ultra sensitive to guys "creeping" on her and flirting in a social atmosphere makes it seem like you are just enjoying the evening without coming on too strong.  I generally like to keep things at this level for a couple weeks.  There is nothing wrong with waiting, and the popular girl will feel begin to feel jealous if you have other things (or girls) to do besides hitting on her.  You see, the popular girl rarely has to compete for attention, and this possibility is exciting to her.  During this period, don't go out of her way to talk to her.  Of course if you see her say hello, but brush it off like you are being friendly.  This type of behavior is bound to drive her crazy.  If executed correctly, she will begin reaching out to you.  From inviting you to parties, to talking to friends about you, you will jump to the top of her list.  Staying calm is key to the whole process.  Act like you have been there before, and are comfortable in any situation.  The popular girl has to deal with nervous and unconfident guys on a regular basis, and she will find it refreshing to meet someone that she doesn't feel like she has to take care of.

Getting the popular girl is without a doubt a challenge.  Just do yourself a favor and don't suck up.  Its unbecoming, and will get you no where.  Play the game, and give the babe time to give you an opportunity.  When she does, take full advantage.  

The "Nice Guy" Approach

Last Sunday my roommate and I were enjoying chinese buffet at a restaurant located a short distance from campus, when we began discussing the various ways to pursue babes.  He admitted that he had always treated girls poorly, and that he did this because for whatever reason they seemed to like it.  He argued that in fact the worse you treat a girl in terms of blowing her off, being rude, or flat out ignoring her, the more she will want you.  I mean, this is not a revolutionary idea by any stretch of the imagination, and this method has been touched upon in previous posts, but it was reassuring to know that Alex and I weren't the only dicks out there.  My roommate went to an elite prep school which I think was actually strangely beneficial to his whole strategy.  Rich girls tend to have an affinity for what they can't have; its a turn-on to have a guy completely ignore you when daddy has been swooning over you since day 1.  Anyway, I really couldn't find anything wrong with my bros logic.  I mean I have employed this technique countless times and been very successful.  It is a rarity when a girl falls for someone who is embarrassingly into her, and while showing someone you like them can work, one must be exceptionally charming to pull this tactic off.  With this in mind, I thought the conversation was over...what else could guys do?

Over the next few days I began to ponder this topic quite a bit.  Slowly, I realized that there was one other way to go about things: just be friendly.  Being genuine with a girl will confuse her to no end.  Forget the lines, drop the flirtation, and don't go out of your way to ignore her.  Just be a chill bro.  You see, all girls are under the impression that we want something from them.  Whether its a serious relationship, casual hook-up, or one night stand girls think we all want something.  Playing the role of the "nice guy" will help to dispel the notion that you want a hook-up from the girl you are talking to.  Doing this will make her wonder what the hell she is doing wrong.  Her thought process will go something like this:

babe: "Ok, so when are guys actually friendly?  Why isn't he hitting on me, or playing hard to get?  I'm gonna have to pursue this a little harder than I thought."

By being the nice guy, you turn the tables.  Girls have trouble responding to this approach.  Inevitably, they will begin to think of you as an enigma.  You will become an unsolved mystery.  In order to solve the mystery, babes will do anything to get your attention.  From forward lines, to casual and yet sexual physical contact, women will try it all.  Once they begin doing this, the ball is in your court.  At this point, you can begin to pursue them openly.  By playing the nice guy, you force a girl to give you a chance.  They will open the door to you...and once its open, its your job to step inside. 

Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, both Alex and I felt that a post was in order.  VDay is one of the trickiest holidays on the calendar when it comes to relationships.  Really, besides Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) and birthdays, Vday is the only other day in the year in which you are expected to give a present.  Of course, this does not mean that you should never buy your girlfriend or wife something on a mere whim, but these three days are the only three in the year in which something is expected.  Generally speaking, there are two types of women out there; the women who love Valentine's Day and expect you to do everything short of lassoing the moon, and the women who find it corny, too commercial, and tacky in general.  While there  are many differences with these women, they share one thing: they both expect it to be at least acknowledged.  Guys, listen closely.  Even if your babe is in the latter group, this does not exempt you from doing something.  It just means you have to walk a finer line between just right, and too much.  For the first type of woman, VDay is fairly simple.  Buy a card that says something exceptionally ridiculous like "you are my soul-mate, I'll love you forever" attach the card to a cute teddy bear, buy her flowers, and take her out to some upscale restaurant for dinner.  I should note that I have never actually experienced this; while I have hooked up with these type of girls before, I quickly detect these babes for who they are, and get out quick.  For the less fortunate of you out there, a day detailing what I have described should do the trick.  For the other type, things tend to be exceedingly more difficult.  I still recommend taking her out to dinner.  It may just be me, but I'm in my dating element in a restaurant; with the right girl, restaurants are the height of romance.  However, when choosing a place to dine, I suggest that you dig a little deeper than you normally would.  Yes, the well known, expensive place will work, but I find that the more obscure, charming restaurant creates a certain ambiance that cannot be duplicated at the more mainstream places.  In terms of gifts, if there is something unique that you know she wants and will love, go for it.  Maybe she mentioned it in passing a couple weeks earlier, or maybe you just know it is perfect for her; either way do not be afraid to make the purchase.  However, there are some things you should not buy:

Card-optional
Chocolate-ehh, seriously bro? I say pass.
Flowers-not a bad idea, be smart though.
teddy bear, or any other type of stuffed animal-HELL NO
Jewelry-Been together more than like 9 months? If so, then its acceptable. Just please don't cheap out on any of that generic, and tacky shit you can buy at like Kay Jewelers or something.  I mean they probably have some nice stuff, but if you go there, be extra careful.

Now that you know what not to buy, just go for it man.  Being with the second type of girl is without a doubt more challenging.  As the guy you want to do something, but too much could spell your demise.  Despite this, embrace your situation.  Unlike the first girl, if you can be successful with the babe who isn't the biggest fan of VDay, she will be much more appreciative.  Walking the fine line goes a long way towards showing how much you really know her.

Now, for all the guys out there who aren't in a relationship, do not worry.  In fact, you should probably rejoice in the fact that you have no pressure to do anything particularly spectacular on such a tricky day.  In reality, you are in a great position.  Perhaps there is a cute girl you would like to ask out (or maybe just hook up with).  Either way, Valentine's Day presents a great opportunity to simply ask her out to dinner.  For a date like this, dinner is all that is expected from you.  No pressure buying gifts, getting cards, or walking the tightrope between too much and too little.  Your responsibilities are pretty straightforward.  At dinner, just treat it as a regular date, the mere fact that it is Valentine's Day will make it more romantic without you even trying.  This fact is something I can attest to.  I have had some very enjoyable hook-ups on VDay with girls that I merely took out to dinner.  There is something about the atmosphere, so take advantage of it.  Remember, Valentine's Day can either make or break you.  Proceed slowly, but realize the great chance that the day truly offers you.  

Playing the Field?

So lately a few friends have been getting on me for losing focus on the blog. In their mind, I've gone soft. Being in a relationship has changed my tune about getting with girls, and living it up in college, and my once useful insight have lost their perspective. Since I respect the opinion of my readers, especially my bros, I have decided it is important to get back to my supposed roots. In order to do this, I'll tell the story of one of my most adamant friends, so that he can attempt to show how I've got it all it screwed up. He has been through the "serious" relationship thing, and now is playing the field. Let's see what he's got.

I'm bullshitting in my dorm with this particular friend right now and he is outlining his relationship with his long-term babe. Things started innocently enough; met at a high school party, hooked up, saw each other again, and things went from there. A good connection was formulated, but my friend had one main focus: sex. Now, it is hard to fault him for this. He was 17, and to put it mildly, thought about it from time to time. He admits that the relationship was good for a while (they dated for more than a year) and he believes he loved her for a period. Unfortunately, despite all of this, his view has still been tainted. He contends that 99% of the time, guys at our age date for the sexual aspects of the relationship. In his mind, things such as conversation and emotional connection are depleted once sex is involved.

With this in mind, he has decided to play the field. Why risk hurting someone, when in his mind things are doomed from the beginning? He argues that playing the field allows one to meet a lot of babes without becoming attached. One can practice picking up girls, and not worry about the results, especially when there is always another to move on to. The idea of talking to a different girl every weekend intrigues him, and gives him plenty of reason to party...and party often.

Of course, this is a fairly pessimistic view of relationships. In my opinion this is fairly common following a long-term commitment to someone. The individual wants to escape confinement; they yearn for "freedom." However, it is of course something to consider. I never discredit anyone's opinion, especially when they have different experiences from my own. It is important that this blog discuss a variety of ideas, and that it appeals to a multitude of readers. So with that all I can say is read everything openly: consider what is said, and choose what is best for you.

The Wingman

There was a time when the thought of playing the role of wingman horrified me. Why on earth would you ever set someone up to get with a girl, when you could have her for yourself? The idea always mystified me, and because of that I never took the position of second in command, especially when I was more than capable of being the leader. Of course, my relationship status has changed, and with it my role has as well. Something else unusual has developed as well: I'm actually embracing it. Being wingman allows one to stand back from the action and simply observe. Girls reactions and tendencies are more obvious when you are not in the thick of things. Because of this, you are much more capable of fixing slight slip-ups that might be made when talking with a group of girls. For example, when not particularly interested in hooking up with any of the babes present, one can mediate the conversation. Monitor the flow, and step in to smooth things over when necessary. Some may find this dull, but I love to observe others around me. I have found that it is vital in picking up girls, and even the slightest sign can give you a huge advantage in pursuing someone. I have turned observation into a type of art, and being wingman allows me to hone this skill.

The other thing that I find particularly thrilling, is not giving a damn. To be quite frank, its satisfying to party and have no desire to take a girl home with you. That might sound slightly weird, but it allows you to actually get to know someone, which is unusual in the college party scene. My effort in the conversations tend to vary. Sometimes I want to have an actual chat, and others I amuse myself just dicking around. I try different personalities. Sometimes I will act aloof, or be sarcastic as hell. Whatever it is I choose, I love to watch a girl be completely confused about who I actually am. In a sense, in these moments, I act like I have always secretly wanted to: above it all.

I think it is important that every guy try out the role of wingman. Go out with friends and rotate who will take the lead, and who will take a step back. By sacrificing one night, you will make great strides in the long run. You will become more aware. You will be more capable and comfortable in various situations. Essentially, you will become better at picking up babes. By stepping aside, you allow yourself to develop and flourish in a stress-free environment. In order to get the girl you really want, you must know what to do, and in order to get to that level you must practice. Embrace it.

Meeting the Parents

Its hard to have a blog giving advice and sharing stories on the opposite sex and not discuss one of the most important facets to any relationship: meeting the parents. Now, in just about every imaginable case, the first introduction to your babe's parents is a bit intimidating. There is a reason why society has painted it in movies like Meet the Parents as a total disaster, and its popularity (see the several sequels) is obvious. As a culture we love melodrama, and to watch a young man crumble staring into the unforgiving eyes of his girlfriend's father is fairly humorous. The key is to not let yourself be in that situation. You want to be confident and charismatic, yet restrained. Stay within yourself, and don't let the conversation become bigger than what you are comfortable with. Obviously, many questions will be thrown at you in a short period, and while its important to answer all of them, learn to deflect them. For example, find something that you can easily talk about with the father. I usually try to center the conversation around sports since I am well versed in that topic, but it can really be about any common subject. If done successfully, everything will become easier, and more relaxed. It will feel less like a business interview and more like an actual conversation.

I always find that once this particular skill is mastered, the rest is easy. Capturing the father's attention is the vital piece. The next step is to work on the mother. Now this is where I, in my humble opinion, work my charm. What I have found to be most important is observation. Take in your surroundings, and comment on them when necessary. Women love details, and a simple observation on a fixture in the house, or a bouquet of flowers sitting on the table, will make this woman realize exactly all the qualities that endear you to her daughter. If you are really feeling confident, a little mild flirting, isn't completely uncalled for either. Of course it isn't intended to be sexual in any way, but a simple line relating one of the mother's qualities to her daughter, is an easy way to grab attention.

Listen guys, it isn't easy. There will be nerves, you will be anxious. Unfortunately, these things are unavoidable, but if you handle yourself well, they will quickly dissipate. Relate yourself to the father, and be charming with the mother. The relationship with the parents is one that is always in flux, and must be handled accordingly. Stay on your game, and don't lose focus. If you want the girl, her parents must be in your court.

Moral Dilemma

The other day, I was talking to Alex, and he was lamenting the fact that there were several girls he had met at a recent party that he could've hooked up with. I asked rather curiously why he hadn't made a move on any of them. He responded, "They were all drunker than I was. It just didn't feel right." It seems that at all parties, no matter the atmosphere, this type of thing always happens. Attractive girls become intoxicated (more than they probably should be) and they look to the closest semi-cute guy to get with. Now to be clear, Alex is certainly not just the average guy who gets lucky from time to time with the hot and yet very sloshed female. He is, and I say this in the most heterosexual way possible, very charming and outgoing. He thrives in social situations, and almost everyone likes him. That being said, I'm sure the girls that he was referring to were probably interested in him throughout the evening. Unfortunately, it took the alcy to give them the courage to go for it.

Setting Alex's case aside, there is really only one of two things a guy placed in this situation can do. They can either reject the girl, or they can hook up with her. It seems either way things could wind up poorly for the dude. If he rejects her, she will most likely be embarrassed, and avoid the guy in the future at all costs. If he hooks up with her, almost everyone at the party (at least all the other babes) will judge the bro for taking advantage of this particular girl. With this in mind, I began to think of ways that one can actually come out unscathed when faced with this situation. Yes, it is true, if you hook up with the girl, it could be one hell of a night. There is no denying that. However, more likely, it will be a disaster. Neither of you will probably be in any real state to gleam any sexual enjoyment out of the encounter, rendering it pretty much a waste. Really, hooking up with a girl that is drunker than you, isn't an option. That leaves us with simply rejecting her. After a lot of thought, I have realized that there is a way you can do this and not only look like a good guy to everyone at the party, but also still have a chance with the girl. (That is if you actually might like her.) The key is to let her down gently. Tell her that she isn't in the right state of mind, and that it has nothing to with her, but solely upon that her current state. Maybe even tell her that in most circumstances you would love to be with her. (It should be noted that using that line is a fairly gutsy play.) Do not make her feel rejected, make her feel like you are too nice of a guy and would feel uncomfortable with it. Hell, when she wakes up the next morning, she will probably thank you for it...and maybe the next time she comes to you she will be sober.

Ms. Mensa

When I came home from college and informed my main bros that I had a girlfriend, their reaction tended to be somewhat startled. Once regaining their composure, the conversation generally went like this:

bro: "You are in a relationship? Huh, I thought you were too much of a flirt for that."

me: "Well yah dude usually, but its different this time bro, and why not give it shot?"

bro: "So wait...this means you aren't gonna be hooking up with anymore babes?"

me: "Nah dude, trust me, she is more than good enough."

I generally like to keep my answers to their questions brief, and while the list of topics goes much deeper than the example I just gave, I felt it was important to give everyone a taste of what was discussed.

I met my girl in the beginning of November, and from the start I will admit I was quite taken with her. She's serbian, (an international student) and her looks were distinctive; she was striking compared to most american girls walking around campus. I was attracted to her instantly, (she has a high area code to say the least) and from our first conversation I detected an obvious and yet refined arrogance that she almost flaunted in front of me. Unlike most girls she saw right through my bullshit: she knew that at first all I wanted was a fling, and while I could tell she was interested, she was going to make me work for it. Finally, after several weeks of flirting back and forth, I finally broke through. Our first kiss was incredibly familiar. We were in sync, as if we had been together for years. At first, I chalked the easiness in which we seemed to kiss up to some sort of combination of sexual energy and tension. After all I thought, the first night we ended up in an academic building on campus; we must just be comfortable with each other.

For a few days I was able to ignore the feelings that I was obviously starting to feel for this Serbian babe. I told myself that it was fine to like her, and that I just needed to avoid falling hard. My plan didn't last long. We started spending time together, and with it, we started to actually talk. Our conversations, once filled with flirting and not much else, turned down a different path. The flirting, and sexual energy was still there, but something else had arrived too: real conversation. As we talked we began to learn things about one another. She is incredibly intelligent: She speaks several languages, her IQ is 158, which qualifies her as a Mensa Member, and she is very driven. She admitted to me that a lot of guys are intimidated by her obvious intelligence, and while I understood that, I found that it was having the opposite effect on me. Oddly, I found it attractive. I had been with so many vapid girls obsessed only with being attractive, and here I was with a girl that not only was incredibly attractive, but someone who challenged me intellectually. Apart from that, she revealed herself as being quite "bro." She loved the idea of the area code game when I introduced it to her, and was not turned off in the least when she found out about my blog. On top of that, she started taking up the habit of pointing out hot babes for me to check out when we were together, often asking for their area code. To be quite honest, I was stunned.

Once I accepted the fact that I was falling for this girl, it took me a long time to convince her to trust me. She knew I was a flirt, and was convinced that my romantic lines were the same ones that I used on every girl. She once told me that I was too charming not to flirt with every new and attractive girl that I met. While I was frustrated by my inability to convince her, I respected it. She was smart and had no intention of being played. Of course, this was not my intention either, but she still had her doubts. Slowly, over time, I charmed her enough to convince her that I was very much into her. (She was right, sometimes I am too charming for my own good.)

My friends ask me what is different about this particular girl. While there are many responses I can give, there is one thing that stands out above the rest: she demanded my respect. Unlike most girls, she didn't immediately fall for my corny lines that I use on a regular basis. Instead, she made me dig deeper, and upon doing that I found feelings for her that I never expected. She motivated me romantically and intellectually in a way that I wasn't accustomed to. Neither of us know what to expect, and it keeps things fun and spontaneous. It makes sense, so why fight it?