The "Nice Guy" Approach

Last Sunday my roommate and I were enjoying chinese buffet at a restaurant located a short distance from campus, when we began discussing the various ways to pursue babes.  He admitted that he had always treated girls poorly, and that he did this because for whatever reason they seemed to like it.  He argued that in fact the worse you treat a girl in terms of blowing her off, being rude, or flat out ignoring her, the more she will want you.  I mean, this is not a revolutionary idea by any stretch of the imagination, and this method has been touched upon in previous posts, but it was reassuring to know that Alex and I weren't the only dicks out there.  My roommate went to an elite prep school which I think was actually strangely beneficial to his whole strategy.  Rich girls tend to have an affinity for what they can't have; its a turn-on to have a guy completely ignore you when daddy has been swooning over you since day 1.  Anyway, I really couldn't find anything wrong with my bros logic.  I mean I have employed this technique countless times and been very successful.  It is a rarity when a girl falls for someone who is embarrassingly into her, and while showing someone you like them can work, one must be exceptionally charming to pull this tactic off.  With this in mind, I thought the conversation was over...what else could guys do?

Over the next few days I began to ponder this topic quite a bit.  Slowly, I realized that there was one other way to go about things: just be friendly.  Being genuine with a girl will confuse her to no end.  Forget the lines, drop the flirtation, and don't go out of your way to ignore her.  Just be a chill bro.  You see, all girls are under the impression that we want something from them.  Whether its a serious relationship, casual hook-up, or one night stand girls think we all want something.  Playing the role of the "nice guy" will help to dispel the notion that you want a hook-up from the girl you are talking to.  Doing this will make her wonder what the hell she is doing wrong.  Her thought process will go something like this:

babe: "Ok, so when are guys actually friendly?  Why isn't he hitting on me, or playing hard to get?  I'm gonna have to pursue this a little harder than I thought."

By being the nice guy, you turn the tables.  Girls have trouble responding to this approach.  Inevitably, they will begin to think of you as an enigma.  You will become an unsolved mystery.  In order to solve the mystery, babes will do anything to get your attention.  From forward lines, to casual and yet sexual physical contact, women will try it all.  Once they begin doing this, the ball is in your court.  At this point, you can begin to pursue them openly.  By playing the nice guy, you force a girl to give you a chance.  They will open the door to you...and once its open, its your job to step inside. 

Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, both Alex and I felt that a post was in order.  VDay is one of the trickiest holidays on the calendar when it comes to relationships.  Really, besides Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) and birthdays, Vday is the only other day in the year in which you are expected to give a present.  Of course, this does not mean that you should never buy your girlfriend or wife something on a mere whim, but these three days are the only three in the year in which something is expected.  Generally speaking, there are two types of women out there; the women who love Valentine's Day and expect you to do everything short of lassoing the moon, and the women who find it corny, too commercial, and tacky in general.  While there  are many differences with these women, they share one thing: they both expect it to be at least acknowledged.  Guys, listen closely.  Even if your babe is in the latter group, this does not exempt you from doing something.  It just means you have to walk a finer line between just right, and too much.  For the first type of woman, VDay is fairly simple.  Buy a card that says something exceptionally ridiculous like "you are my soul-mate, I'll love you forever" attach the card to a cute teddy bear, buy her flowers, and take her out to some upscale restaurant for dinner.  I should note that I have never actually experienced this; while I have hooked up with these type of girls before, I quickly detect these babes for who they are, and get out quick.  For the less fortunate of you out there, a day detailing what I have described should do the trick.  For the other type, things tend to be exceedingly more difficult.  I still recommend taking her out to dinner.  It may just be me, but I'm in my dating element in a restaurant; with the right girl, restaurants are the height of romance.  However, when choosing a place to dine, I suggest that you dig a little deeper than you normally would.  Yes, the well known, expensive place will work, but I find that the more obscure, charming restaurant creates a certain ambiance that cannot be duplicated at the more mainstream places.  In terms of gifts, if there is something unique that you know she wants and will love, go for it.  Maybe she mentioned it in passing a couple weeks earlier, or maybe you just know it is perfect for her; either way do not be afraid to make the purchase.  However, there are some things you should not buy:

Card-optional
Chocolate-ehh, seriously bro? I say pass.
Flowers-not a bad idea, be smart though.
teddy bear, or any other type of stuffed animal-HELL NO
Jewelry-Been together more than like 9 months? If so, then its acceptable. Just please don't cheap out on any of that generic, and tacky shit you can buy at like Kay Jewelers or something.  I mean they probably have some nice stuff, but if you go there, be extra careful.

Now that you know what not to buy, just go for it man.  Being with the second type of girl is without a doubt more challenging.  As the guy you want to do something, but too much could spell your demise.  Despite this, embrace your situation.  Unlike the first girl, if you can be successful with the babe who isn't the biggest fan of VDay, she will be much more appreciative.  Walking the fine line goes a long way towards showing how much you really know her.

Now, for all the guys out there who aren't in a relationship, do not worry.  In fact, you should probably rejoice in the fact that you have no pressure to do anything particularly spectacular on such a tricky day.  In reality, you are in a great position.  Perhaps there is a cute girl you would like to ask out (or maybe just hook up with).  Either way, Valentine's Day presents a great opportunity to simply ask her out to dinner.  For a date like this, dinner is all that is expected from you.  No pressure buying gifts, getting cards, or walking the tightrope between too much and too little.  Your responsibilities are pretty straightforward.  At dinner, just treat it as a regular date, the mere fact that it is Valentine's Day will make it more romantic without you even trying.  This fact is something I can attest to.  I have had some very enjoyable hook-ups on VDay with girls that I merely took out to dinner.  There is something about the atmosphere, so take advantage of it.  Remember, Valentine's Day can either make or break you.  Proceed slowly, but realize the great chance that the day truly offers you.