Changing the Misconceptions

After reading through the blog, and all the posts since July, it is apparent that we need a post in order to return to our main focus. When Alex and I first started posting, we intended to give tips and opinions about the opposite sex. We were going to discuss what to and what not to do and some basic ideas that will help any average guy catch the girl of his dreams. However, what we quickly realized, was that while this was a worthwhile topic, it was much more amusing to write about some of the ridiculous shit we have done in the past. Ideally, we need to find some sort of balance between the two. As word of this blog has spread to some extent across campus, I have become acutely aware of some of the negatives of writing about such a topic. While the feedback has been very positive, its understandable that some people (most especially girls) would be a bit turned off when reading some of the posts. With this being said, even the girls I know who have read the blog tell me they think its pretty damn hilarious. Both Alex and I must admit, we think so too.

There are two main ways to pursue a girl that you are really into. The first is a very flirty, and forward approach. Let the girl know you are into her, but don't make it seem like she is the only girl. What must be noted when taking this approach is that you must be confident with girls; from your body language to your topics of conversation, you must be on top of your game. No girl will fall for a guy that isn't confident when using this method. Generally, when successful, this method ends in hooking up and not much else. The flirting is usually so intense at the very beginning of the relationship that after a few weeks the flame burns out. Unfortunately, after that period things can get very awkward. Honestly, while I often fall into the trap of taking this approach, things fall apart much faster than intended. This must be considered when weighing the pros and cons of each option.

Option number two is a much simpler, slower approach. Get to know the chick first. Showing her that you can carry a conversation will take you a long way. Girls are impressed by the guy who is chill. However, when using this method, one must be very careful not to get "friend zoned." Being friend zoned for all intensive purposes will end your hopes of ever getting with that girl. To help counteract this, there must be a calculated amount of flirting added to every conversation. Make it apparent to the girl that you might be into her, but don't be aggressive. To be honest, if you really are into this girl, you should want to hangout with her, and not worry about hooking up. Just being with her should make you happy.

It cannot be said enough that we all play "the game." Honestly, no guy can ever claim to play it perfectly. No one really knows what the hell they are doing, but we try to be as good as possible. What we don't realize is that maybe being good isn't all that important. Perhaps, the key is to be yourself. Be true to who you are. By doing this, the right girl will come.

Sticky Situation (Alex)

The first few weeks back on campus are generally fairly insane. Students try to catch up with one another after a long summer apart, and most girls always do their best to look good. Both guys and girls know that the first impression is always very important. Unlike high school, it is much easier to meet new people from year to year.

The second weekend on campus, I met a cute girl at a party I was at. She was really personable and was fun to talk to. On top of that, she seemed pretty into me as well. Frequent touches on the arm and close conversation tipped me off to the fact that I should pursue things with her. I walked her back to where she lived, asking for her number on the way. Once I had gotten that, I felt confident going in to give her a kiss goodnight. When we got back, I made my move and we started kissing. Now, when kissing someone for the first time, its easy to experience completely different techniques. Some girls go in for a "peck" while others start shoving their tongue down your throat which is always disconcerting. I am always taken off guard by that move, and have trouble recovering from such aggression. The ideal kiss is something in between; lips slightly open, with a slow, simple, and more romantic approach. This girl did just that. She knew how to kiss. After a few minutes, I said goodnight to her, promising to text her the next day.

While I had been talking to my girl from the weekend throughout the beginning of the following week, a mid-week party presented a good opportunity to go out. The night, which started promising, ended up being a bust and I went to hangout with a girl that I had been friends with for a while. Well, we were hanging out, when all of a sudden, out of no where, we started kissing. This girl was in great shape, and she quickly turned into an enjoyable hook up. We didn't do much besides make-out, but it was really relaxed and fun. Since we are good friends, we are very comfortable with each other.

The next weekend rolled around, and I went out to another party to hangout with friends. I saw the girl from the previous weekend and started talking and flirting a bit with her. After a few minutes, I turned around and my heart sank. Walking towards me was my friend from during the week. I excused myself from the first girl, and made my way over to the other to say a quick hello. After that, I tried to defuse the situation by talking to another girl across the room. A few minutes later, I slowly made my way over to girl #1. At this moment, girl #2 came over and slapped me on my ass, which girl #1 noticed immediately. Her expression of disdain was easy to read.

I went to the bathroom, and tried to think of a plan. I didn't think of anything genius. All I could think of was to alternate talking between the two girls the rest of the night and then make an early exit. I went back and forth throughout the night, while talking to all of my other friends who were at the same party. By the end of the night, I was mentally drained. What had begun as a great time, turned into a game. Honestly, I probably shouldn't be involved at all with more than one girl at once no matter what level it is. At the same time though, one could do a lot worse. I'm simply talking to different girls and getting to know them. It's exactly as Doug says; we live in a hook-up culture and no one can accept the middle ground of simply dating. Something similar has to have happened to guys before, and we are here to help everyone out. Eventually, one of these girls will turn into the relationship girl, and all of this madness can end. Until then, it must go on...

I wish to start this entry with an apology to our readers for the amount of time in between posts. Unfortunately, this semester of college I have found to be a bit overwhelming academically, and while I admire Tucker Max (see I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell) and his ability to graduate from college while putting in little or no effort, I am a bit more dedicated. Despite this, I have had several experiences which I will be able to share with you. For a little background, I go to a small, prestigious and very preppy liberal arts school. While classes are difficult, and the amount of work can be extraordinary, we still know how to party. (every night if you really want to.) I have spent the first few weeks of school buckling down on academics and meeting as many chicks as possible. I have now adopted the way I refer to girls as "chicks" because that is just what you call them here. Guys are "dudes" or "bros" and girls are "chicks." I have met quite a few chicks, hooking up with a couple, but nothing serious. With the rest, I have been absurdly flirtatious. There are a lot of cute girls, and being me, I have found it difficult to focus on one for more than like 36 hours.

All of this changed the other day when I walked into one of my classes and was immediately drawn in to this girl sitting in the back of the room. Naturally, there were several seats around her, because all of the guys in the room were too intimidated to sit near her, and she was actually one of only three girls in the class. Obviously, she didn't know anyone. In every class I sit in the back (not because I don't pay attention, but more because I feel cooler strolling nonchalantly past all the nerds in the front.) Anyway, I walked into her aisle, and decided to sit a couple seats away, not wanting to appear too creepy. I resisted the urge to talk to her for about a minute until I turned to her and said simply "how does it feel to be one of three girls in the class?" She smiled as I had intended and answered with something like "I love it. It's awesome." I assumed the conversation was over for the time being until she said a few seconds later, "How does it feel to be one of like 20 guys in this class right now?" I turned to her and smiled for a moment and then said simply, "I generally stand out." She laughed, and I turned back to my notebook knowing that I had made the perfect first impression.

We had class the next day, and we ended up sharing a computer for an assignment we had. I was chill with her, not aggressive at all, but charming as hell. After class, I walked her back to her dorm. As we were about to depart, she said to me "Here, let me give you my number so we can hangout sometime." I got her number and walked back to my dorm finding it hard to focus on anything but her.

We went to dinner that night, and had lunch together the next day. During the course of our time together she made comments such as "You must have been the most popular guy in high school because you are confident, athletic, and good looking." and that "I was just her type of guy." I even made a comment about us dating and she took it in stride as if it was inevitable. A couple days later I was out at a party and ran into her. I walked over and put my arm around her and we started talking. I asked her if she wanted to get dinner off campus the next night, and at this moment she abruptly blurts out "I have a boyfriend and I love him a lot." I was f****** floored. Now to be clear, she had mentioned before that she had someone at home but she had acted as if it wasn't really a big deal, and that I didn't have to worry. I figured that I could just take things slow, and eventually this guy would fade from her interests. I guess I was wrong.

The last week or so things have been decidedly awkward between us. She talks to me but not in the same flirty way she once did, and it seems during some instances that she is avoiding me. She certainly doesn't seek me out like she once did. What I have started to notice about her and many girls on campus is that many have boyfriends from home. My reaction to this is generally appalled. College is the time to meet new people. If you are truly meant to be with that significant other from home, then things will happen later in the college experience. If you stay with them now, you are potentially straining your relationship, as well as missing out on someone that might actually be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now don't get me wrong this is absolutely not what I'm looking for, but these things have to considered. I structured my entire senior year of high school around not having a girlfriend (minus my dream girl) in order to be ready for college. I sacrificed many possible hook-ups during this time, and now I'm beginning to wonder why? We live in a culture of either intense dating or random hook-ups. Whatever happened to the middle ground of casual dating? The idea of taking a girl out to get to know her better to see where things lead? America is torn by two opposite viewpoints: the long term relationship vs. the hook-up culture. Let's stop for a minute, and realize what we are missing out on by doing this. You may laugh, but while you are wasting your time with your high school sweetheart, the potential love of your life could be sitting in their room not more than 100 feet away. Don't miss out.