I Feel Pimp

So as Doug stated before, I was recently been involved in a minor, nonofficial relationship with a girl that met all of my 5 standards, (see first post). Unfortunately for her, I recently had to end things. You see, I am at a new college, having just transferred, and tying myself up to this one girl so early in my tenure would just be restricting to my social life. The thought of commitment with her translated to a stoppage of my social growth at my new school.

Despite this, I couldn’t just break things off with her totally without having any alternatives. Note that I used the word ‘alternative’ and not fall back. Much like Doug, I’m not into the hook up game anymore. Sure, it is needed every so often to keep sanity, but I need to settle down and start scoping out this relationship thing that people are doing. (I've been told its becoming rather sheik) I currently have two possible alternatives. Here they are…

Mika: She is a new girl I met dancing with at a party. We were introduced from a mutual friend on Halloween. She was a nurse, and I was the doctor, so it seemed to fit perfectly. She was all over me, and I really thought that things would escalate at least a little bit. Unfortunately, a friend told me that she wasn't the hook up type. While I may have lost the battle, I certainly didn't lose the war. The next couple days were interesting as I was told of Mika’s relationship history, and personality (doesn’t just hook up, no real relationships, not too much experience). Basically, a prude. It was rather shocking. Her hips certainly didn’t lie on the dance floor. Finding out this new information pushed her to the back of my mind. She may have been pretty sexy, but it seemed like a lot of effort.

Fast forward 3 weekends, and I am dancing with my minor, unofficial relationship girl (the night her and her friend interrogated me with questions about my intentions as Doug already wrote about). While dancing, all of a sudden I see Mika undressing me with her eyes. Although I was pretty involved dancing with my other girl, Mika made continuous efforts to be near me, and make eye contact with me. I went for a little break outside the apartment with my friend, and Mika was leaving with a couple of hers. I made some cute, flirty remarks about leaving before we got the chance to dance, but she responded with something sassy about how she had to go to Wawa instead of dance. Taking this hit, I jokingly responded with “sausage egg and cheese on a croissant.” She sarcastically laughed and kept on walking.

About 10 minutes later, I was back on the dance floor, and got a text from this unknown number. It was Mika, and she had gotten my number from a friend! She was texting to confirm my order. My friend, who had told me all the information of her history with guys, was shocked by this aggressive move on her part. Later in the night, I am being questioned by my minor relationship’s friend, and I get the text for sandwich. I feel pimp because I am talking about one girl whom I’m with to this person, and then texting another girl who seems to have a crush on me, and who got me a sandwich! After leaving the minor relationship’s friend’s room with the mindset I was done with her, I texted Mika, and asked to come up to her room to enjoy that sandwich. She happily opened the door for me, I ate the sandwich, and now I have a new prospect.

In a matter of hours, my whole girl situation changed. I basically ended things with the one girl, and started things with another. We must always learn to be open to new opportunities. You never know what may happen. “When one door closes, another opens.”

Something Missing

From time to time we meet a girl that fits into every category necessary in order to become a dream girl. She is witty, intelligent, personable, and attractive, seemingly everything a guy could ever want. However, there is still something missing. Whatever it is, you can't quite seem to be able to take the leap of faith with the girl in question; no matter how many criteria she fits, she still somehow falls short. For a long time, I never really understood why this was. How could could someone so ideal be incomplete? Finally, I think I now have an understanding as to how this can happen. I was talking to Alex the other day on the phone, discussing the usual: plans to get together over thanksgiving break, sports, and of course babes, when he mentioned this girl he had been seeing at school. Of course he had brought her up to me before, and I knew that for a time he had been pretty serious about her. According to him, she fit in her perfectly onto everything on his list. She was, in short, a dream girl. However, when I asked more about her, he admitted that he was no longer feeling it. Stunned as I was I pressed him to find out some details. Apparently, he had gone out with her to a party on the weekend and returned home afterwards with a group of people. His girl had to leave the room for a while, and one of her friends began to ask him questions about what was going on between the two of them. Now ladies, guys aren't stupid, this was obviously set up. She had intentionally left the room to allow her friend some time to find out what Alex was really thinking about the relationship. Alex recognized this as a set up immediately, and at that moment had two options: he could either admit that he was very much into her and planned on taking things farther soon, or play it off, and act like she was just another fun girl to date. He choose the latter option. It goes without saying that by doing this he had effectively ruined the relationship. Honestly, he just didn't really care. A girl that had seemed so perfect became bland and generic in the most crucial of moments. What I am starting to see is that in any relationship there needs a certain spark from both individuals involved. Alex never had that. He let the opportunity to prove that he cared slip away with out so much as a backwards glance. He felt no desire to defend or protect his girl; to stand up for their relationship. Subconsciously, he was pushing her away. No matter how perfect any girl may seem, the moment of truth comes when you first have to describe how you feel about her. If you can't do that, you simply don't care.

The Area Code Game

Let's face facts and accept one reality when it comes to guys: we all check girls out. We look at the gorgeous, the cute, the average, and even the "grenades" (to quote Jersey Shore). Unfortunately, guys have never really been able to come up with a system for describing the girls they check out to their friends...until now that is. Normally, the conversation will go like this:

bro sees hot girl: "Yo man, I just saw this total babe. She had a great body and amazing hair. Damn."

friend: "Well thats great dude, but you settle with girls a lot so I can't really trust you. You're judgement of "babe" is just a cute girl for me."

With that the conversation ends, and no one has any real grasp on how beautiful this girl really is. Ladies and Gentleman let me present the area code game. Now to be fair, I can't take credit for this revolutionary idea. One of my bros first introduced the idea to me during the summer and I have started to use it exclusively when describing women to my friends. As a disclaimer, the area code game is completely superficial. My friends and I utilize it solely when describing girls we don't know. It goes without saying that when considering who to date, other factors such as personality and charisma go a long way.

Now that that is out of the way, let's get down to business. As we all know there are three digits in an area code. In our area code, the first digit, allows for numbers 0-9, and describes the girls face. The second is 0-2 and gives everyone a good understanding if you would "hook up" with the babe in question. A 0 means never, a 1 when drunk or in need of "getting some" and a 2 is always. The third digit is once again 0-9 and details the girls body. Using these numbers, the highest a girl can be is a 929, while a 414 is considered average. It is important to note that you base everyone off the hottest girl you know. Therefore, you give the best looking girl that you have at least some minimal contact with a 929 and work down from there. In our game, no celebrities or models are accepted. Let's face it gentleman, most of you have a hard enough time getting with the attractive girls in your life, so let's focus on reality and not illusion.

By no means do we want this area code game to be looked at negatively. It is only a way for my bros and I to describe all of the beautiful women we see in our day to day lives. We would never date a girl based solely on an area code. Any girl can be improved tremendously by great charm and confidence. We would also be open to any changes that our readers might want to make to the area code. Any changes to the second digit would be more than welcome: we have recently pondered the idea that 3 digits might not describe all of the possible outcomes from each scenario. Here's to hoping we all get the right girl, no matter her area code.

They Are What They Say They Aren't

One of the most amusing things about females is that almost all the time the girls that claim not to be sluts end up to be exactly what they say they aren't. Generally, it can be difficult to tell which is which, but there is one method, that is rarely ever wrong. Unfortunately, it cannot be tested until you actually begin to hook up with the girl. College weekends are rampant with random, most times meaningless hook ups, and while this can get a bit depressing at times there is little that can be done to break the cycle. With that being said, I have had my share of what I will just refer to as "experiences." What I have noticed with these experiences is that the girls who are most confident in themselves usually don't feel the need to express that things should be slowed down while hooking up. What I mean by this is that comments such as "We can't go any farther, I'm not a slut" or "I want you to come back for more" are never said by the girl who isn't a slut. Instead, that girl finds a way to make you think you are getting whatever you want, and yet afterwards, you want even more. The girls that insist on making such comments generally lack the confidence to feel as if you will want to come back after the one night together. Because of this, their behavior is generally sluttier than the others, because they feel the need to overcompensate for some perceived shortcoming. They are easier to hook up with, but always prevent things from progressing to a certain level because they think that they are "teasing" you by stopping short, and that this will drive you wild with desire. What they don't realize is that this is actually a turn off. I'm much more into the girl who has the confidence and is comfortable enough to go as far as she wants and not be outwardly nervous as to whether or not you are going to come back. This is far more attractive. With this being said I guess the message for this post is for the ladies out there: have confidence and be don't be fooled into thinking pulling up short is always best. This confidence will help you discover what is really best to do with your guy for the evening. Whether it is just a kiss goodnight, or much much more, doing what you want will make us come back.