"You miss 100% of the shots you never take." -Doug and Alex

-Wayne Gretzky

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Trouble in Paradise

I just walked past the couple that lives across the hall from me.  Yes, thats right, I said couple.  Earlier this semester the guy that had been living there moved out, and in moved the other dude's girl.  Its been a couple of months now since the switch, and at first the situation seemed to be paradise.  Both are pretty big on getting f***** up, and from taking prescription drugs to help their "focus" to experimenting with other illegal substances, they at least have one obvious thing in common.  However, as the living arrangements went from fresh to expected, and everyone lost the initial shock of seeing the babe enter her new room, paradise began to experience stormy weather.  It all started a couple weeks ago when around midday their shouting carried clearly through their door and into our room.  The fight was ugly: thinly veiled threats were hurled and accusations were sent back and forth.  As the fight continued for several minutes I mused that there was finally trouble in paradise.  As time would show, the fight was not an isolated incident.  Every couple days, arguments can be heard spewing from the room as if something insidious was growing there.  In fact, I have come to view the room as infected, contaminated beyond a cure.

And yet as I walked by the two this evening, they seemed in the highest of spirits.  Both happily said hello to me, and they were walking together with a flirty playfulness.  They were headed most likely to dinner where they will inevitably share romantic lines and appear to to be the peak of happiness.  But alone, they are different.  Their behavior is far from romantic and cute; it borders on ugliness.  Of course I am aware that at times all couples argue.  I would even go as far to contend that once in a while a fight can help a relationship: it can start things out fresh, and allow each individual to realize and work on their flaws.  In this case though I seriously doubt that these fights are beneficial.  If anything they are frightening. An outside observer would conclude that the clashes were between two people not very fond of one another, not a couple in "love" as they claim to be.

I guess what baffles me, is why either of them would ever want to move in together.  Living together is hard enough without having to share the tiny and cramped spaces of a college dorm room.  Now don't get me wrong, having a girl stay over can be a whole hell of a lot of fun.  The dude had a single, she could've stayed over whenever they wanted...for days in a row even.  But that doesn't mean that they had to give up their individuality.  At the college age, who wants to spend every single moment with their girlfriend?  What about chilling with the bros...or even just having some time to yourself?  There must be times when both much desperately want space.  The more I think about it, the more I begin to realize what the room really signifies for me: a trap.  By moving in together, they have trapped themselves, stifling their individuality and preventing their relationship from flourishing.  I'm not saying that you can't be with someone, or have a committed relationship, but please remain yourself.  We have the rest of our lives to make decisions with a spouse, and have to deal with the daily worries of living together.  For now, be yourself...

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