Sticky Situation (Alex)

The first few weeks back on campus are generally fairly insane. Students try to catch up with one another after a long summer apart, and most girls always do their best to look good. Both guys and girls know that the first impression is always very important. Unlike high school, it is much easier to meet new people from year to year.

The second weekend on campus, I met a cute girl at a party I was at. She was really personable and was fun to talk to. On top of that, she seemed pretty into me as well. Frequent touches on the arm and close conversation tipped me off to the fact that I should pursue things with her. I walked her back to where she lived, asking for her number on the way. Once I had gotten that, I felt confident going in to give her a kiss goodnight. When we got back, I made my move and we started kissing. Now, when kissing someone for the first time, its easy to experience completely different techniques. Some girls go in for a "peck" while others start shoving their tongue down your throat which is always disconcerting. I am always taken off guard by that move, and have trouble recovering from such aggression. The ideal kiss is something in between; lips slightly open, with a slow, simple, and more romantic approach. This girl did just that. She knew how to kiss. After a few minutes, I said goodnight to her, promising to text her the next day.

While I had been talking to my girl from the weekend throughout the beginning of the following week, a mid-week party presented a good opportunity to go out. The night, which started promising, ended up being a bust and I went to hangout with a girl that I had been friends with for a while. Well, we were hanging out, when all of a sudden, out of no where, we started kissing. This girl was in great shape, and she quickly turned into an enjoyable hook up. We didn't do much besides make-out, but it was really relaxed and fun. Since we are good friends, we are very comfortable with each other.

The next weekend rolled around, and I went out to another party to hangout with friends. I saw the girl from the previous weekend and started talking and flirting a bit with her. After a few minutes, I turned around and my heart sank. Walking towards me was my friend from during the week. I excused myself from the first girl, and made my way over to the other to say a quick hello. After that, I tried to defuse the situation by talking to another girl across the room. A few minutes later, I slowly made my way over to girl #1. At this moment, girl #2 came over and slapped me on my ass, which girl #1 noticed immediately. Her expression of disdain was easy to read.

I went to the bathroom, and tried to think of a plan. I didn't think of anything genius. All I could think of was to alternate talking between the two girls the rest of the night and then make an early exit. I went back and forth throughout the night, while talking to all of my other friends who were at the same party. By the end of the night, I was mentally drained. What had begun as a great time, turned into a game. Honestly, I probably shouldn't be involved at all with more than one girl at once no matter what level it is. At the same time though, one could do a lot worse. I'm simply talking to different girls and getting to know them. It's exactly as Doug says; we live in a hook-up culture and no one can accept the middle ground of simply dating. Something similar has to have happened to guys before, and we are here to help everyone out. Eventually, one of these girls will turn into the relationship girl, and all of this madness can end. Until then, it must go on...

I wish to start this entry with an apology to our readers for the amount of time in between posts. Unfortunately, this semester of college I have found to be a bit overwhelming academically, and while I admire Tucker Max (see I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell) and his ability to graduate from college while putting in little or no effort, I am a bit more dedicated. Despite this, I have had several experiences which I will be able to share with you. For a little background, I go to a small, prestigious and very preppy liberal arts school. While classes are difficult, and the amount of work can be extraordinary, we still know how to party. (every night if you really want to.) I have spent the first few weeks of school buckling down on academics and meeting as many chicks as possible. I have now adopted the way I refer to girls as "chicks" because that is just what you call them here. Guys are "dudes" or "bros" and girls are "chicks." I have met quite a few chicks, hooking up with a couple, but nothing serious. With the rest, I have been absurdly flirtatious. There are a lot of cute girls, and being me, I have found it difficult to focus on one for more than like 36 hours.

All of this changed the other day when I walked into one of my classes and was immediately drawn in to this girl sitting in the back of the room. Naturally, there were several seats around her, because all of the guys in the room were too intimidated to sit near her, and she was actually one of only three girls in the class. Obviously, she didn't know anyone. In every class I sit in the back (not because I don't pay attention, but more because I feel cooler strolling nonchalantly past all the nerds in the front.) Anyway, I walked into her aisle, and decided to sit a couple seats away, not wanting to appear too creepy. I resisted the urge to talk to her for about a minute until I turned to her and said simply "how does it feel to be one of three girls in the class?" She smiled as I had intended and answered with something like "I love it. It's awesome." I assumed the conversation was over for the time being until she said a few seconds later, "How does it feel to be one of like 20 guys in this class right now?" I turned to her and smiled for a moment and then said simply, "I generally stand out." She laughed, and I turned back to my notebook knowing that I had made the perfect first impression.

We had class the next day, and we ended up sharing a computer for an assignment we had. I was chill with her, not aggressive at all, but charming as hell. After class, I walked her back to her dorm. As we were about to depart, she said to me "Here, let me give you my number so we can hangout sometime." I got her number and walked back to my dorm finding it hard to focus on anything but her.

We went to dinner that night, and had lunch together the next day. During the course of our time together she made comments such as "You must have been the most popular guy in high school because you are confident, athletic, and good looking." and that "I was just her type of guy." I even made a comment about us dating and she took it in stride as if it was inevitable. A couple days later I was out at a party and ran into her. I walked over and put my arm around her and we started talking. I asked her if she wanted to get dinner off campus the next night, and at this moment she abruptly blurts out "I have a boyfriend and I love him a lot." I was f****** floored. Now to be clear, she had mentioned before that she had someone at home but she had acted as if it wasn't really a big deal, and that I didn't have to worry. I figured that I could just take things slow, and eventually this guy would fade from her interests. I guess I was wrong.

The last week or so things have been decidedly awkward between us. She talks to me but not in the same flirty way she once did, and it seems during some instances that she is avoiding me. She certainly doesn't seek me out like she once did. What I have started to notice about her and many girls on campus is that many have boyfriends from home. My reaction to this is generally appalled. College is the time to meet new people. If you are truly meant to be with that significant other from home, then things will happen later in the college experience. If you stay with them now, you are potentially straining your relationship, as well as missing out on someone that might actually be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now don't get me wrong this is absolutely not what I'm looking for, but these things have to considered. I structured my entire senior year of high school around not having a girlfriend (minus my dream girl) in order to be ready for college. I sacrificed many possible hook-ups during this time, and now I'm beginning to wonder why? We live in a culture of either intense dating or random hook-ups. Whatever happened to the middle ground of casual dating? The idea of taking a girl out to get to know her better to see where things lead? America is torn by two opposite viewpoints: the long term relationship vs. the hook-up culture. Let's stop for a minute, and realize what we are missing out on by doing this. You may laugh, but while you are wasting your time with your high school sweetheart, the potential love of your life could be sitting in their room not more than 100 feet away. Don't miss out.

I Can't Even Think of a Title, Just Enjoy (Doug)

As the summer draws to a close, and friends begin to return to their respective college campuses throughout the country, there begins a mad dash to accomplish everything before one leaves. I peace in a few days, and have found that as my departure draws nearer kids pop into my life seemingly out of no where asking to get a bite to eat or go to a movie. I'm always down for this, especially when its a girl that decides they want to reemerge. I have been receiving texts from girls lately wanting to get together because "they are gonna miss me so much" and while I generally toy with the idea for a while, I realize that they have had the last three months to do something if they missed me so much. They lost their chance. Besides, I literally have two dollars in my wallet and I'm making it my sole mission not to need anymore over the summer. I think a piece of pizza might be a good investment of the two bucks, and I certainly can't take a girl out to watch me eat a slice.

While, I usually make some excuse as to why I can't go out, when my girl from the previous post "Sometimes it is Just Too East" informed me that her house was empty and we had about two hours for one last afternoon of fun, I dropped everything and bolted to her house. Once I got there, we went into her basement and we devised a plan in case anyone came home while we were together. Her basement has a sliding glass door that opened up onto a patio out back, and I was to run out the door into her backyard, and down the road where we had carefully parked my car. My car was on a completely different street. Once that was settled, we got down to business. At first, it was just kissing and cuddling. The first 15 minutes passed with nothing serious happening. Finally, I began to escalate things, kissing more passionately, moving in to take it farther. All of a sudden, I heard a slam of a door from somewhere in the house. Scared shitless, I threw the girl to the side and made a mad dash for the door forgetting my shoes by the couch. As I reached the door, I felt another presence in the room and I turned, bracing myself to say hello to her father and attempt to shake his hand. (Or do something that would keep him from killing me.) It was not her father in the room, but her older brother who is a couple years my elder. He is a big, burly kid and while I would never admit it, I had always been scared of him while his sister and I were dating. I wanted to say something, but froze in the moment, and instead just stared at him, my mouth wide open. He took one look at me (he never liked me) and said "you might as well get the f*** out now since you are already halfway gone." I sure as hell wasn't gonna argue with that, and was about to leave when I realized that he was standing right next to my shoes. I would have to go within about 4 inches of him to get near them. Well I wasn't about to get that close, so I just stood by the door mutely surveying the scene. He turned to his sister and promptly asked "what were you doing" and she responded with the typical "nothing" which almost always means it was something. He muttered a few words about her being a whore and it was then I mustered the courage to grab my shoes from by his feet. I tiptoed over and slipped them on as quiet as a mouse while he continued to reprimand his sister. I turned, slipped out the back door, and sprinted to my car.

As I drove home I realized how hilarious the whole scene really was. This kid probably should have beaten the shit out of me. Instead, he decided to yell at his sister. I went through the entire scene completely unscathed. He let me walk right out of the house without even so much as a serious threat. I guess there really wasn't much he could do. I mean I had completely screwed his sister over when we dated and here I was again messing around with her. He must wonder how I do it. Honestly, (and I seriously don't mean this in a cocky way cause I have had my share of trouble with girls as the blog shows) he probably wants to have my game. Secretly, he wants to do girls, what I do to his sister...

Role Reversal (Alex)

I have noticed that there is a fundamental difference in the way we treat the fall back girl and the dream girl. Dream girls seem to have an aura that force us to treat them differently. You see, the fall back girl can easily be texted at anytime, and the conversation can be about anything. I simply do not care how she responds to what I say. Because of this, I generally start texting with lines like, "hey baby girl, what's good?" or "what's shakin'?"

Lately, I have been spending time with a girl who meets all my qualifications (see first post) in order to be my "dream girl." In the past, I would never take any risks texting, and would rarely be flirty. I was obviously scared about the possible repercussions. I have had such success with the fall back girls and my risque text messages, that I figured why not throw caution to the wind and talk to my "dream girl" in that manner. With this in mind, I decided to take a big-time chance. I realized that if I didn't take this chance, the conversations and relationship would never go anywhere. Attempting to add humor to my little experiment, I changed my "dream girls'" name in my phone to one of my "fall back girls'" name to make things as realistic as possible. I have always been very successful with this particular fall back girl. I began texting with, "what's good baby girl?" and her response was almost instantaneous. More shocking than her quick answer was what she said: "hey :):) what's up:)?" After her text I got distracted for a while with Doug and another friend, simply forgetting her like I would any old fall back girl. I responded with "just chilling with my boys. I bet you are jealous of them."

Throughout the evening the conversation continued this way. I would act confident, almost cocky and basically just ignore her throughout the night, often taking 15-20 minutes to get back to her. I had always thought that this was the wrong way to go about treating the "dream girl" but her instant answers and flirty mood made me question my previous thoughts. In subsequent days, she has texted to me and written on my facebook wall. All of these things make it seem that I have elevated our relationship. I have some proportion of control, and she has responded to that. What I think I am beginning to understand is that at this point in our lives, all girls want the nonchalant and difficult to read guy. They are drawn in by not knowing what we are thinking. Women, just as much as men, love the chase...and I plan on being difficult to catch.

The Long Distance Girl (Doug)

Several summers ago I met this totally fantastic girl at a camp that I went to. Whether or not it was the short amount of time we spent together, I fell totally in love with this girl. Well maybe not literally in love, but I fell hard...like can't get you out of my head hard. As the days, weeks, and months passed this girl just got better in my mind's eye. She was like a fine wine; the longer you wait, the better it tastes. I thought about her from time to time and I remembered everything that seemed so incredible about her. Now I wouldn't describe this girl as strictly gorgeous, but rather someone who held a presence. She was tall, athletic, and her hair fell in a wavy and graceful way that I just couldn't stop thinking about. Apart from her attractiveness, she was intelligent, and so easy to talk to. Conversation with her flowed like it would talking to your best friend. I felt totally comfortable with her, as if I had known her my entire life.

On the day we were set to leave we sat together trying to salvage something from the last few hours we had. My heart raced as I thought about leaning in to give this girl, who I perceived as my girl, a kiss that she would remember forever. Even if she forgot me. Of course, I couldn't muster the courage. At this time in my life my experience with girls in the "making a move" department was rather limited and I really didn't know an appropriate way to do it. I left her with a hug. I didn't even look back.

Throughout the years I have kept up communication with this girl, often with heavy flirting on both ends. Within the last year she admitted how infatuated with me she had been during our brief time together saying something like "You were so confident. I remember one time you grabbed my hand to hold it out of the blue and I was so taken. I couldn't get you off my mind." Hearing this now, I obviously was flush with pride: even at a young age I had mad skill.

With all long distance girls there comes a time when you have a chance to see them again. Your lives cross paths for a brief period and you have one moment to find out what it is you thought you had. This summer, I had that chance. I was very curious to find out whether or not I was really into this girl or if the distance had made her amazingness grow in my mind. You see, girls I see on a regular basis, I get to know on a much more personal level, and with this information I can tell what they are really like.

I met my girl in the early evening and from the moment I saw her walking up the street towards me, I knew. I knew that everything I had imagined had been reality. It took us about 48 seconds to find fluid conversation and the rest of the night was a dream. It was as I had remembered. She was my "dream girl." We had another opportunity to see each other the next morning, and we made plans. However as our second "date" began I was acutely aware of something new, something I didn't like. At last I realized that there was some mild awkwardness from each of us. It was as if we could see that our visits would not last much longer and our bodies reacted awkwardly in an attempt to keep us from getting too close. To fall again, only to be torn apart would be too difficult. Our conversations were stunted, and I found it difficult to be as fluid as the previous day had been. As we said goodbye, i knew that this might be it. We might never see each other again, and yet I found it hard to even look at her as I left. I had long thought of this second goodbye as a chance to make up for my previous missed opportunity. My moment to lean in for that kiss that would forever ingrain myself in her head. But now, as the moment presented itself to me, I could only think of the idea as foolish. Why take it there? How would it help? I turned, got out of her car, and walked away, totally and completely heartbroken. I didn't look back...

Sometimes it is Just Too Easy

In every guy's life, or at least ours, there are the girls that are just way too easy. The ones that don't qualify as fall back girls, because they are too damn good looking but are so into you, for whatever reason, that hooking up with them is like shooting fish into a barrel. Because of this, these girls prevent themselves from ever becoming the dream girl. While they usually always qualify in the looks department, they fall way behind because of the simple fact that they are not a challenge. Alex always complains about this with comments such as "I was into them for a while but then I realized that they were desperate for me. So I got bored." While there are many stories to tell dealing with Alex, we will recount Doug's story since it just happened earlier this night.

I just returned home from a date with a super sexy girl, who has been into me for a long, long time. We dated during our high school years for a few months and then fell into the occasional hook up until she started dating a dweeb, in order to be with someone she could control which she obviously couldn't do with me. Anyway, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Amazing dress, make-up done, hair curled perfectly. I was about 20 minutes late picking her up and arrived in gym shorts and a t-shirt and about 5 days of scruff on my face. She said "you look like a bum" and I replied with something like "you look good enough for the both of us baby." We drove to a restaurant where I promptly told her that I only had 27 dollars on me and that she had to keep her order under 15 dollars. She said "you really need to learn how to take a girl out" and remembering that drinks would be extra I said, "oh yeah and only water too." After the meal we went to my car and I asked her where we should go to park (in order to get it on) and she began to rattle off places we could go. We settled on a place and began passionately kissing, and I began to remember exactly how good she really was. Damn she knew what she was doing...

It occurred to me sometime around the time she was digging her nails deeply into my back that I needed to stop this madness. In a split second I realized how pathetic I was! I needed to put an end to my shallow ways and find a good, wholesome girl who could become my "dream girl." While we continued to fool around I waged a battle in my head: "You have plenty of time to find the right girl, enjoy this now." vs. "This is so unbelievably easy I can't even find that much fun in it." Alas, the first argument won out. Despite this, I have decided it is time I re-evaluate what I'm doing. It is far time that I lose my immature ways and end this fooling around with the easy girl. Ehhhhhhhh I don't know maybe I'll just enjoy this last one...

To Our Readers:
-We appreciate your continued interest in reading our stories and we would love any feedback you may have. We have noted the comment regarding the dream girl and will be writing more about that in the coming posts. Here are a couple other titles that we plan to unveil.

-The Long Distance Girl
-Meeting the Parents (This will be written by one of our good friends. We know that he will add some great insight to the matter.)