I Can't Even Think of a Title, Just Enjoy (Doug)

As the summer draws to a close, and friends begin to return to their respective college campuses throughout the country, there begins a mad dash to accomplish everything before one leaves. I peace in a few days, and have found that as my departure draws nearer kids pop into my life seemingly out of no where asking to get a bite to eat or go to a movie. I'm always down for this, especially when its a girl that decides they want to reemerge. I have been receiving texts from girls lately wanting to get together because "they are gonna miss me so much" and while I generally toy with the idea for a while, I realize that they have had the last three months to do something if they missed me so much. They lost their chance. Besides, I literally have two dollars in my wallet and I'm making it my sole mission not to need anymore over the summer. I think a piece of pizza might be a good investment of the two bucks, and I certainly can't take a girl out to watch me eat a slice.

While, I usually make some excuse as to why I can't go out, when my girl from the previous post "Sometimes it is Just Too East" informed me that her house was empty and we had about two hours for one last afternoon of fun, I dropped everything and bolted to her house. Once I got there, we went into her basement and we devised a plan in case anyone came home while we were together. Her basement has a sliding glass door that opened up onto a patio out back, and I was to run out the door into her backyard, and down the road where we had carefully parked my car. My car was on a completely different street. Once that was settled, we got down to business. At first, it was just kissing and cuddling. The first 15 minutes passed with nothing serious happening. Finally, I began to escalate things, kissing more passionately, moving in to take it farther. All of a sudden, I heard a slam of a door from somewhere in the house. Scared shitless, I threw the girl to the side and made a mad dash for the door forgetting my shoes by the couch. As I reached the door, I felt another presence in the room and I turned, bracing myself to say hello to her father and attempt to shake his hand. (Or do something that would keep him from killing me.) It was not her father in the room, but her older brother who is a couple years my elder. He is a big, burly kid and while I would never admit it, I had always been scared of him while his sister and I were dating. I wanted to say something, but froze in the moment, and instead just stared at him, my mouth wide open. He took one look at me (he never liked me) and said "you might as well get the f*** out now since you are already halfway gone." I sure as hell wasn't gonna argue with that, and was about to leave when I realized that he was standing right next to my shoes. I would have to go within about 4 inches of him to get near them. Well I wasn't about to get that close, so I just stood by the door mutely surveying the scene. He turned to his sister and promptly asked "what were you doing" and she responded with the typical "nothing" which almost always means it was something. He muttered a few words about her being a whore and it was then I mustered the courage to grab my shoes from by his feet. I tiptoed over and slipped them on as quiet as a mouse while he continued to reprimand his sister. I turned, slipped out the back door, and sprinted to my car.

As I drove home I realized how hilarious the whole scene really was. This kid probably should have beaten the shit out of me. Instead, he decided to yell at his sister. I went through the entire scene completely unscathed. He let me walk right out of the house without even so much as a serious threat. I guess there really wasn't much he could do. I mean I had completely screwed his sister over when we dated and here I was again messing around with her. He must wonder how I do it. Honestly, (and I seriously don't mean this in a cocky way cause I have had my share of trouble with girls as the blog shows) he probably wants to have my game. Secretly, he wants to do girls, what I do to his sister...

Role Reversal (Alex)

I have noticed that there is a fundamental difference in the way we treat the fall back girl and the dream girl. Dream girls seem to have an aura that force us to treat them differently. You see, the fall back girl can easily be texted at anytime, and the conversation can be about anything. I simply do not care how she responds to what I say. Because of this, I generally start texting with lines like, "hey baby girl, what's good?" or "what's shakin'?"

Lately, I have been spending time with a girl who meets all my qualifications (see first post) in order to be my "dream girl." In the past, I would never take any risks texting, and would rarely be flirty. I was obviously scared about the possible repercussions. I have had such success with the fall back girls and my risque text messages, that I figured why not throw caution to the wind and talk to my "dream girl" in that manner. With this in mind, I decided to take a big-time chance. I realized that if I didn't take this chance, the conversations and relationship would never go anywhere. Attempting to add humor to my little experiment, I changed my "dream girls'" name in my phone to one of my "fall back girls'" name to make things as realistic as possible. I have always been very successful with this particular fall back girl. I began texting with, "what's good baby girl?" and her response was almost instantaneous. More shocking than her quick answer was what she said: "hey :):) what's up:)?" After her text I got distracted for a while with Doug and another friend, simply forgetting her like I would any old fall back girl. I responded with "just chilling with my boys. I bet you are jealous of them."

Throughout the evening the conversation continued this way. I would act confident, almost cocky and basically just ignore her throughout the night, often taking 15-20 minutes to get back to her. I had always thought that this was the wrong way to go about treating the "dream girl" but her instant answers and flirty mood made me question my previous thoughts. In subsequent days, she has texted to me and written on my facebook wall. All of these things make it seem that I have elevated our relationship. I have some proportion of control, and she has responded to that. What I think I am beginning to understand is that at this point in our lives, all girls want the nonchalant and difficult to read guy. They are drawn in by not knowing what we are thinking. Women, just as much as men, love the chase...and I plan on being difficult to catch.

The Long Distance Girl (Doug)

Several summers ago I met this totally fantastic girl at a camp that I went to. Whether or not it was the short amount of time we spent together, I fell totally in love with this girl. Well maybe not literally in love, but I fell hard...like can't get you out of my head hard. As the days, weeks, and months passed this girl just got better in my mind's eye. She was like a fine wine; the longer you wait, the better it tastes. I thought about her from time to time and I remembered everything that seemed so incredible about her. Now I wouldn't describe this girl as strictly gorgeous, but rather someone who held a presence. She was tall, athletic, and her hair fell in a wavy and graceful way that I just couldn't stop thinking about. Apart from her attractiveness, she was intelligent, and so easy to talk to. Conversation with her flowed like it would talking to your best friend. I felt totally comfortable with her, as if I had known her my entire life.

On the day we were set to leave we sat together trying to salvage something from the last few hours we had. My heart raced as I thought about leaning in to give this girl, who I perceived as my girl, a kiss that she would remember forever. Even if she forgot me. Of course, I couldn't muster the courage. At this time in my life my experience with girls in the "making a move" department was rather limited and I really didn't know an appropriate way to do it. I left her with a hug. I didn't even look back.

Throughout the years I have kept up communication with this girl, often with heavy flirting on both ends. Within the last year she admitted how infatuated with me she had been during our brief time together saying something like "You were so confident. I remember one time you grabbed my hand to hold it out of the blue and I was so taken. I couldn't get you off my mind." Hearing this now, I obviously was flush with pride: even at a young age I had mad skill.

With all long distance girls there comes a time when you have a chance to see them again. Your lives cross paths for a brief period and you have one moment to find out what it is you thought you had. This summer, I had that chance. I was very curious to find out whether or not I was really into this girl or if the distance had made her amazingness grow in my mind. You see, girls I see on a regular basis, I get to know on a much more personal level, and with this information I can tell what they are really like.

I met my girl in the early evening and from the moment I saw her walking up the street towards me, I knew. I knew that everything I had imagined had been reality. It took us about 48 seconds to find fluid conversation and the rest of the night was a dream. It was as I had remembered. She was my "dream girl." We had another opportunity to see each other the next morning, and we made plans. However as our second "date" began I was acutely aware of something new, something I didn't like. At last I realized that there was some mild awkwardness from each of us. It was as if we could see that our visits would not last much longer and our bodies reacted awkwardly in an attempt to keep us from getting too close. To fall again, only to be torn apart would be too difficult. Our conversations were stunted, and I found it difficult to be as fluid as the previous day had been. As we said goodbye, i knew that this might be it. We might never see each other again, and yet I found it hard to even look at her as I left. I had long thought of this second goodbye as a chance to make up for my previous missed opportunity. My moment to lean in for that kiss that would forever ingrain myself in her head. But now, as the moment presented itself to me, I could only think of the idea as foolish. Why take it there? How would it help? I turned, got out of her car, and walked away, totally and completely heartbroken. I didn't look back...

Sometimes it is Just Too Easy

In every guy's life, or at least ours, there are the girls that are just way too easy. The ones that don't qualify as fall back girls, because they are too damn good looking but are so into you, for whatever reason, that hooking up with them is like shooting fish into a barrel. Because of this, these girls prevent themselves from ever becoming the dream girl. While they usually always qualify in the looks department, they fall way behind because of the simple fact that they are not a challenge. Alex always complains about this with comments such as "I was into them for a while but then I realized that they were desperate for me. So I got bored." While there are many stories to tell dealing with Alex, we will recount Doug's story since it just happened earlier this night.

I just returned home from a date with a super sexy girl, who has been into me for a long, long time. We dated during our high school years for a few months and then fell into the occasional hook up until she started dating a dweeb, in order to be with someone she could control which she obviously couldn't do with me. Anyway, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Amazing dress, make-up done, hair curled perfectly. I was about 20 minutes late picking her up and arrived in gym shorts and a t-shirt and about 5 days of scruff on my face. She said "you look like a bum" and I replied with something like "you look good enough for the both of us baby." We drove to a restaurant where I promptly told her that I only had 27 dollars on me and that she had to keep her order under 15 dollars. She said "you really need to learn how to take a girl out" and remembering that drinks would be extra I said, "oh yeah and only water too." After the meal we went to my car and I asked her where we should go to park (in order to get it on) and she began to rattle off places we could go. We settled on a place and began passionately kissing, and I began to remember exactly how good she really was. Damn she knew what she was doing...

It occurred to me sometime around the time she was digging her nails deeply into my back that I needed to stop this madness. In a split second I realized how pathetic I was! I needed to put an end to my shallow ways and find a good, wholesome girl who could become my "dream girl." While we continued to fool around I waged a battle in my head: "You have plenty of time to find the right girl, enjoy this now." vs. "This is so unbelievably easy I can't even find that much fun in it." Alas, the first argument won out. Despite this, I have decided it is time I re-evaluate what I'm doing. It is far time that I lose my immature ways and end this fooling around with the easy girl. Ehhhhhhhh I don't know maybe I'll just enjoy this last one...

To Our Readers:
-We appreciate your continued interest in reading our stories and we would love any feedback you may have. We have noted the comment regarding the dream girl and will be writing more about that in the coming posts. Here are a couple other titles that we plan to unveil.

-The Long Distance Girl
-Meeting the Parents (This will be written by one of our good friends. We know that he will add some great insight to the matter.)

The Minute Game (Posted by Doug)

I have found that texting is completely illogical. Why text when a call would be so much more efficient? Many argue that texting allows one to accomplish tasks while still talking to someone, and while that may be true it has completely screwed with the way i talk to girls. I have found that when texting, nothing can ever be taken seriously. For example, when asking a girl out, the question is always followed with a “haha” or “lol” to lighten the mood. That way if the girl happens to reject you (and Alex and I don’t experience that much) you can always play it off with something like this: “haha alright that’s cool not a big deal i was just pretty much kidding anyway.” It becomes a way to save face; to keep the male ego intact.

While I despise texting, it is understandable as to why girls would love it. Texting allows females a “screening process” before actually meeting the guy. While actually talking on the phone might be awkward and difficult for some girls, texting lets them talk for hours about virtually nothing while they decide whether the new guy meets the needed criteria for a date.

In response to this, I have developed what I consider a foolproof method when texting a girl you are really into. (remember guys as a warning this is only to be used with the “dream girl” not the “fall back girl” it doesn’t matter with the fall back.) My friends and I call this technique “the minute game.” It is very simple. This is how it works: When texting never respond to the girl quicker than it takes for her to respond to you. For example if she texts you back in 4 minutes, wait 5. If it is 2, wait at least 3. This way you appear as if you are actually doing something. You seem busy and not really into the girl...keeping her on edge. Executed to perfection, you can drive the girl mad waiting to hear from you. Wondering where you are will only add to her “crush”. Happy waiting fellas!

The Dream Girl vs The Fall Back Girl

The problem with us is that we have classifications for girls. We have that girl we aspire to, the potential love of our life, the dream. Beneath her we have what we consider the “fall back” girl. Each girl has generally attractive attributes, but the difference lies in their ability to make conversation, and make us fall hard for them.

perfect relationship between a guy and a girl can often be correlated to a scale. Imagine each guy and girl has a designated number, from 1 to 10 (ten is best), in which it grades their appeal to the opposite sex. Some guys, like us, might average out to be a 7, but think we are a 9. Because of this, we long for the girl who is a 9 or 10. (Our dream girl) Us 7s also have girls that are 5 and 6s that we can easily fall back to, because we are the ones they long for. We are their 9 or 10! They are our fall back girl. In this way the game never ends.

Doug and Alex have similar stories about shooting for the 9 or 10. During our senior years of high school we each had an extremely attractive and popular female friend who we had long considered just a friend and nothing more. Each had a boyfriend, and on occasion, when their respective relationships were on the rocks they would show us glimpses of hope. Asking us to go to parties together, or texting every night became common. These texts weren’t those usual “hey what’s our cacl homework?” they were texting just to for the hell of it, just to talk. This texting led us to believe that this was our moment: the moment to rise up and seize the one girl that would be “perfect.” During these months every other girl who would have been easy for us became dry, boring, useless pieces of matter. Girls who would text us and would never hear a reply, or would fall victim to the one word treatment. And…….here is when we hit the brick wall.

We were flying so high, and yet still so unsure. With all of the obvious signs, couldn’t we man up and make a move? Couldn’t we ask that girl to a definite date as opposed to just a casual hangout? Couldn’t we just lean in for that kiss, if only to see what she would do? NO. WE BITCHED OUT. We let them flirt, we let them ask us out, we kept the interest going. What we failed to realize was that when dealing with the 9 or the 10 the flame eventually loses its spark. Sooner or later, the texts the stop and so does the dream.

An Imperfect Guy's Perfect Girl

In the life of every teenage guy, each goes through a trial and error of capturing the ideal girl. We weigh the pros and cons of every female, examples ranging from our high school prom queens, to real life celebrities, and sometimes we even dare to let our minds wander as we pass that gorgeous 30ish looking woman in the local shop rite. Because we invest so much time in the pursuit of the “perfect woman” we have many experiences. From kicking our adorable classmate in the second grade, to building up the courage to put our arm around our high school crush in the movie theater, we have had occurrences of success…and oh yeah A LOT of failure. Despite this, we continue to create criteria, which our girl must possess.

This is Alex’s list:

I make it simple.

1. Pretty

2. Nice

3. Ambitious

4. Intelligent

5. Wholesome

You would think these qualities are found quite frequently, but it’s a rarity to capture all in one.

Doug’s philosophy is a bit different. While I of course appreciate all of the things mentioned in the list above, I wonder is there such a girl?

We talk on a regular basis that perfection in a girl does not exist. Even more importantly, we are starting to realize that we are far from perfect. With this in mind, how do we dare wish for the perfect girl?