Something Missing

From time to time we meet a girl that fits into every category necessary in order to become a dream girl. She is witty, intelligent, personable, and attractive, seemingly everything a guy could ever want. However, there is still something missing. Whatever it is, you can't quite seem to be able to take the leap of faith with the girl in question; no matter how many criteria she fits, she still somehow falls short. For a long time, I never really understood why this was. How could could someone so ideal be incomplete? Finally, I think I now have an understanding as to how this can happen. I was talking to Alex the other day on the phone, discussing the usual: plans to get together over thanksgiving break, sports, and of course babes, when he mentioned this girl he had been seeing at school. Of course he had brought her up to me before, and I knew that for a time he had been pretty serious about her. According to him, she fit in her perfectly onto everything on his list. She was, in short, a dream girl. However, when I asked more about her, he admitted that he was no longer feeling it. Stunned as I was I pressed him to find out some details. Apparently, he had gone out with her to a party on the weekend and returned home afterwards with a group of people. His girl had to leave the room for a while, and one of her friends began to ask him questions about what was going on between the two of them. Now ladies, guys aren't stupid, this was obviously set up. She had intentionally left the room to allow her friend some time to find out what Alex was really thinking about the relationship. Alex recognized this as a set up immediately, and at that moment had two options: he could either admit that he was very much into her and planned on taking things farther soon, or play it off, and act like she was just another fun girl to date. He choose the latter option. It goes without saying that by doing this he had effectively ruined the relationship. Honestly, he just didn't really care. A girl that had seemed so perfect became bland and generic in the most crucial of moments. What I am starting to see is that in any relationship there needs a certain spark from both individuals involved. Alex never had that. He let the opportunity to prove that he cared slip away with out so much as a backwards glance. He felt no desire to defend or protect his girl; to stand up for their relationship. Subconsciously, he was pushing her away. No matter how perfect any girl may seem, the moment of truth comes when you first have to describe how you feel about her. If you can't do that, you simply don't care.

The Area Code Game

Let's face facts and accept one reality when it comes to guys: we all check girls out. We look at the gorgeous, the cute, the average, and even the "grenades" (to quote Jersey Shore). Unfortunately, guys have never really been able to come up with a system for describing the girls they check out to their friends...until now that is. Normally, the conversation will go like this:

bro sees hot girl: "Yo man, I just saw this total babe. She had a great body and amazing hair. Damn."

friend: "Well thats great dude, but you settle with girls a lot so I can't really trust you. You're judgement of "babe" is just a cute girl for me."

With that the conversation ends, and no one has any real grasp on how beautiful this girl really is. Ladies and Gentleman let me present the area code game. Now to be fair, I can't take credit for this revolutionary idea. One of my bros first introduced the idea to me during the summer and I have started to use it exclusively when describing women to my friends. As a disclaimer, the area code game is completely superficial. My friends and I utilize it solely when describing girls we don't know. It goes without saying that when considering who to date, other factors such as personality and charisma go a long way.

Now that that is out of the way, let's get down to business. As we all know there are three digits in an area code. In our area code, the first digit, allows for numbers 0-9, and describes the girls face. The second is 0-2 and gives everyone a good understanding if you would "hook up" with the babe in question. A 0 means never, a 1 when drunk or in need of "getting some" and a 2 is always. The third digit is once again 0-9 and details the girls body. Using these numbers, the highest a girl can be is a 929, while a 414 is considered average. It is important to note that you base everyone off the hottest girl you know. Therefore, you give the best looking girl that you have at least some minimal contact with a 929 and work down from there. In our game, no celebrities or models are accepted. Let's face it gentleman, most of you have a hard enough time getting with the attractive girls in your life, so let's focus on reality and not illusion.

By no means do we want this area code game to be looked at negatively. It is only a way for my bros and I to describe all of the beautiful women we see in our day to day lives. We would never date a girl based solely on an area code. Any girl can be improved tremendously by great charm and confidence. We would also be open to any changes that our readers might want to make to the area code. Any changes to the second digit would be more than welcome: we have recently pondered the idea that 3 digits might not describe all of the possible outcomes from each scenario. Here's to hoping we all get the right girl, no matter her area code.

They Are What They Say They Aren't

One of the most amusing things about females is that almost all the time the girls that claim not to be sluts end up to be exactly what they say they aren't. Generally, it can be difficult to tell which is which, but there is one method, that is rarely ever wrong. Unfortunately, it cannot be tested until you actually begin to hook up with the girl. College weekends are rampant with random, most times meaningless hook ups, and while this can get a bit depressing at times there is little that can be done to break the cycle. With that being said, I have had my share of what I will just refer to as "experiences." What I have noticed with these experiences is that the girls who are most confident in themselves usually don't feel the need to express that things should be slowed down while hooking up. What I mean by this is that comments such as "We can't go any farther, I'm not a slut" or "I want you to come back for more" are never said by the girl who isn't a slut. Instead, that girl finds a way to make you think you are getting whatever you want, and yet afterwards, you want even more. The girls that insist on making such comments generally lack the confidence to feel as if you will want to come back after the one night together. Because of this, their behavior is generally sluttier than the others, because they feel the need to overcompensate for some perceived shortcoming. They are easier to hook up with, but always prevent things from progressing to a certain level because they think that they are "teasing" you by stopping short, and that this will drive you wild with desire. What they don't realize is that this is actually a turn off. I'm much more into the girl who has the confidence and is comfortable enough to go as far as she wants and not be outwardly nervous as to whether or not you are going to come back. This is far more attractive. With this being said I guess the message for this post is for the ladies out there: have confidence and be don't be fooled into thinking pulling up short is always best. This confidence will help you discover what is really best to do with your guy for the evening. Whether it is just a kiss goodnight, or much much more, doing what you want will make us come back.

Let's Dance

Dance parties are a big deal at my school. Most of the places you go on any given weekend will most likely incorporate dancing. For someone like me, this is phenomenal. I can't say that I'm a good dancer, but I found that when dancing at these parties, ability has little to do with it. I am confident. I try different moves, and go with the flow. In order to do this, one needs a girl to dance with. Fortunately, finding a suitable girl is not all that difficult. I usually have no problem approaching a girl, and oft times there are many that I already know. The problem I encounter comes after we start. The sexual nature of today's dancing leaves me in a rather uncomfortable situation, especially with girls that I do not know well. Somewhere in the back of my mind this thought that I should know them a little bit always creeps into my mind. I wage a battle in my head: do I start a conversation or don't I? Now I think it is safe to say that having an actual chat with a girl that is draped all over you is probably a bit of a turn off, but not saying anything is just creepy to me. Let me paint you a picture. I'm at a party, see a girl across the room, think she is cute and go dance with her. Two minutes later she is all over me as if we have been dating for years. Now at this moment I usually think to myself that I must get to know her at least a little. So I start talking to her. Always a big mistake. Whenever I do this I am always given a horrified look as if I have just broken some type of code or something. For a while I never understood why this was. Then I started to look around my surroundings and I realized something about females. They have code signs. It is a well known fact that all girls travel in packs. It is the responsibility of each individual member within the pack to look out for the other members. Typically, this will go something like this: guy approaches a girl and starts dancing with her. Fellow members of the pack judge the guy their friend is dancing with and give a signal as to whether she should continue to dance or not. Sometimes these signs are really generic like a thumbs up or thumbs down or occasionally they are more subtle like a simple gesture. Either way the message is delivered...and always obeyed. Personally I can honestly say that I have never noticed this happen to me. Now, I'm beginning to understand why girls don't like the simple conversation. If they are dancing with you, they don't care. They don't really want to know you...they just know that the rest of their friends approve and that is all that really matters. With this newfound knowledge I have a new approach: no more conversation...let's just dance baby.

Why I Write (Doug)

Within the last few weeks, I have found myself having to defend the blog more and more. At parties, groups of girls circle, whispering and pointing at me until one finally builds the courage to ask me if I am "the kid that writes the blog." Others are more blunt. I have been told that our blog is "demeaning to women" and that I'm not Tucker Max. Sometimes, the feedback is positive. Just last week a girl approached me and said "I read your last post. It was really nice and sweet. I liked it a lot." Generally, when a girl (or group) tells me that I'm "disgusting" or an "a******" I simply ask them whether or not they have read it. Surprisingly, most who hate on me, haven't read a single word. They simply believe the rumor mill. I have found that most everyone who has read the blog has mostly positive things to say about it. Sure, there may be some questionable parts, but to say that it is demeaning to women might be a tad harsh. My only hope is that before you pass judgement on my writing, take the time to read several posts. If you do that, I feel as though it will be hard to find anything too wrong with "The Journey of Two Imperfect Guys."

This finally leaves me with the question as to why I write. Why do I continue something that has brought me such turmoil? I mulled over this question quite a while. Finally, I remembered something that I once learned in English class. A great writer doesn't write for his audience, but for himself. I write for myself, not for Alex, the kids in my dorm, or my friends from home. Of course, I hope that everyone enjoys my writing. It is my desire that the observations I make are discussed and the reality of what I say is discovered. My only goal is to show how crazy we make something that is seemingly so simple, and my only hope is that you take time to consider what I say before you judge it.

Overanalyzing Simplicity

There comes a time when every guy changes their expectations of girls. For example, I think it is safe to say that most guys care much less about personality than overall attraction during high school. While I'm sure there are many guys who never grow out of this stage, Alex and I are starting to notice a transition into looking for the more wholesome girl. Not to say that we aren't attracted to the girls we date, but it becomes much more enriching to date someone who has opinions and is interested in what is going on around her. The transition from high school to college has elevated our educational thinking and conversely has changed the type of girl we are interested in. I'm sure that this idea is the same for girls. Conversation and personality has grown much more important when dating. With that being said, it is fair to create a connection between this idea and the "dream girl" vs. "fall back girl" that Alex and I detail extensively in previous posts. To reiterate, the difference between the two most likely does not hinge upon looks, but more upon the types of conversations you can share with the girls.

Throughout most of high school, Alex was good friends with a girl who he had a lot in common with. They were very comfortable with each other and had a very good relationship. Now, there is no denying that this girl was (and still is) cute. She has an appeal about her that few other girls possess. However whether or not Alex was caught up with his "dream girl" documented in one of the earliest posts, or if he was scared of the commitment, he never made a move. Obviously, it is important to know that this girl was without a doubt interested in him. While she was comfortable as friends, she had a crush on him throughout most of high school. Towards the end of the summer, Alex and I hung out with before we all went back to college. I had never been that close with her, but I respected her and knew the history between her and Alex. Throughout hanging out, I saw the familiarity that each had with the other. They were so smooth, so relaxed. It was almost sad that they weren't together.

After we left Alex said to me, "hey man you know how we were discussing the difference between the fall back girl and the dream girl? Well I always thought she was the fall back type, but I think I might have been wrong. She's everything I really want." I must admit I was intrigued by this moment of realization. Both of us have never really been able to settle on one girl for an extended period, and this comment seemed to be an opening to a new level of maturity. Unfortunately for Alex, this girl now has a fairly serious boyfriend at college, and has seemed to gotten over her long crush on him. Their timing was never right. While things could possibly still develop in the future, who knows if they will ever feel the same way at the same moment. The key to this story is that there is no such thing as the perfect girl. Girls, as well as guys are far from perfect, and to search for perfection is a futile cause. Of course, Alex didn't realize this when it was most important. He looked through the girl he could have been totally happy with, for a dream that does not exist. We all must learn never to overanalyze simplicity...

Changing the Misconceptions

After reading through the blog, and all the posts since July, it is apparent that we need a post in order to return to our main focus. When Alex and I first started posting, we intended to give tips and opinions about the opposite sex. We were going to discuss what to and what not to do and some basic ideas that will help any average guy catch the girl of his dreams. However, what we quickly realized, was that while this was a worthwhile topic, it was much more amusing to write about some of the ridiculous shit we have done in the past. Ideally, we need to find some sort of balance between the two. As word of this blog has spread to some extent across campus, I have become acutely aware of some of the negatives of writing about such a topic. While the feedback has been very positive, its understandable that some people (most especially girls) would be a bit turned off when reading some of the posts. With this being said, even the girls I know who have read the blog tell me they think its pretty damn hilarious. Both Alex and I must admit, we think so too.

There are two main ways to pursue a girl that you are really into. The first is a very flirty, and forward approach. Let the girl know you are into her, but don't make it seem like she is the only girl. What must be noted when taking this approach is that you must be confident with girls; from your body language to your topics of conversation, you must be on top of your game. No girl will fall for a guy that isn't confident when using this method. Generally, when successful, this method ends in hooking up and not much else. The flirting is usually so intense at the very beginning of the relationship that after a few weeks the flame burns out. Unfortunately, after that period things can get very awkward. Honestly, while I often fall into the trap of taking this approach, things fall apart much faster than intended. This must be considered when weighing the pros and cons of each option.

Option number two is a much simpler, slower approach. Get to know the chick first. Showing her that you can carry a conversation will take you a long way. Girls are impressed by the guy who is chill. However, when using this method, one must be very careful not to get "friend zoned." Being friend zoned for all intensive purposes will end your hopes of ever getting with that girl. To help counteract this, there must be a calculated amount of flirting added to every conversation. Make it apparent to the girl that you might be into her, but don't be aggressive. To be honest, if you really are into this girl, you should want to hangout with her, and not worry about hooking up. Just being with her should make you happy.

It cannot be said enough that we all play "the game." Honestly, no guy can ever claim to play it perfectly. No one really knows what the hell they are doing, but we try to be as good as possible. What we don't realize is that maybe being good isn't all that important. Perhaps, the key is to be yourself. Be true to who you are. By doing this, the right girl will come.