The Relationship Timeline

I am beginning to notice an unsettling trend in the dating field. The act of dating, something that was once viewed as romantic and spontaneous has turned into a dreary, and draining experience. Alex and I were discussing the other day how dating has become impersonal and controlled. You see, it has evolved into a process. You see a cute girl, and do your best to begin talking to her. Whether through a friend, or by actually manning up and asking yourself, you get her number. That can be considered step number one. Inevitably, before texting her, you decide to wait 2-4 days, depending on how much of a dick you are, in an attempt to not seem too desperate. In reality, by texting this babe later as opposed to sooner, you are merely making it obvious that you deliberately waited. If she has any game whatsoever, she will uncover your silly ideas without much difficulty. Generally, these initial texts are generic as hell. Let's face it guys, most of you are too nervous to be creative with your conversation. You send the first text, talk for a few minutes (making sure to play the minute game of course) and end the chat, because most are scared that they will slip up by talking too long.

This initial text leads to an inevitable trend. As the guy you will wait another 1-2 days for the next contact provided the girl doesn't text you first. You will begin with something like "hey what have you been up to lately" in an attempt to actually seem interested in the last 40 or so hours of her life, as if something monumental must have occurred. A few minutes of nervous conversation is quickly followed up by the question of a date which is stated something like this: "so I was thinking that maybe sometime we could get together for dinner or something if you wanted haha." The most important thing to notice about this line is the "haha" at the end. This "haha" ladies and gentleman is not one of those arbitrary, meaningless "haha's" that everyone puts at the end of their sentences when texting. No, it is designed so that if the guy happens to be rejected, they can always play it off as if the whole thing was partly a joke. The "haha" is an escape route from harsh and painful rejection.

Assuming that the girl does agree to go on a date, things will commence in a very average way. The couple will go to a safe, generally generic restaurant and idle over pointless conversation (or meaningful if you are one those intellectual types) until the food is served at which point both will begin to eat nervously, each afraid to appear a messy eater. There will undoubtedly be some type of sexual tension as well. Flirtatious remarks will be exchanged if things are going well, and as the meal closes its end both will start to dwell nervously on the impending first kiss. Once dinner is finished, the car ride home becomes one of great interest. Conversation will be very forward and flirty by this point, and both will be wondering what will happen as the night closes. Unfortunately, I have decided that really it just doesn't matter. I have just described you the beginning of an average relationship, and with these humble beginnings it is difficult to imagine it being successful. The following is missing: spontaneity, passion, and romance.

Now to be fair, not everyone is totally like this. There are success stories of good daters, and there are quite a few couples who are happy with their dating style. However, there is still a need to shake it up. Guys must learn to avoid the obvious texting patterns and learn to become harder to read. In addition, as men, we must learn to realize that it is okay to be different. We should try harder to find an unusual restaurant, or engage in stimulating, intellectual conversation. Gentleman, the key is to stand out, and in order to do that chances must be made. Let go.